What is IT? Sexual Abuse defined; but with a difference…

What is Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence?

Well… I’m so glad you asked… and you did- thankyou. It goes without saying that we should get a few things straight if we are going to delve into sexual abuse and sexual violence and try to understand how and what to do when these awful things turn up in life. Makes sense to get the foundations right- right?

For Blog 1 What is sexual Violence

Before I start- if you are reading my blog for the first time, you can find a bit more about what I am doing, and who I am by clicking HERE. It is my heart to break cycles of Child trauma and abuse through education, empowerment, understanding and creating transformation. Why? Because every victim is one too many- it happened to me and if I can stop it happening to just one other child, or family, then I have done something good. One step at a time, one day at a time, together we can make a difference…

There are many areas to consider when trying to define sexual violence and abuse- so it is actually a little bit difficult to give a clear cut answer- but hey I’ll try.

There are many avenues of violation that can occur and it is for that reason some people, organisations and certain areas of governments may place sexual abuse and assault under the banner of Sexual Violence– to make it easier.

The scope of sexual violence can stretch to include child pornography, making Child Exploitation Material (that is existing both in the home and in an online space), Incest, Rape, or any sexual act, innuendo or the like committed against any person (Adult or Child) without consent.

Additionally, we cannot forget Internet crimes which account for a large percentage of the statistics, whether it be a initial online meeting – followed up by meeting in person to conduct a sexual act, showing of images which include pornography or demanding a child perform sexual acts over the internet, or grooming (to name a few). For our teens, a majority of our young people think that sending a nude pic over their phone or being made to send a nude pic is now a ‘normal’ element of dating- or even an expectation if you are going to ‘go out’ with someone.

There are teens (and even adults) whose ideas of healthy relationships involve violent sex and raping a girl or on the odd occasion a girl forcing a guy because of what they see online. The victims, both male and female are either uninformed or too afraid to report what is happening. I want to make sure we know that none of this is okay!

On the more extreme side of this are things there are horrific stories of sex trafficking, child pornography rings, human trafficking and sex slavery. These are all real issues and have or do occur at some level in Australia and across the world. (topic for another day!) Essentially, Sexual Violence itself is very broad and essentially can be covered in one sentence- Sexual Violence is basically anything of a sexual nature where consent cannot be given, or is not given.

Defined: So while the term is very broad- If we want to get technical about Sexual Violence there is a great definition in the Miller-Keane Encyclopedia and Dictionary of Medicine, Nursing and Allied Health…

Sexual Abuse any act of a sexual nature performed in a criminal manner, as with a child or with a non-consenting adult, including rape, incest, oral copulation, and penetration of genital or anal opening with a foreign object. The term also includes lewd or lascivious acts with a child; any sexual act that could be expected to trouble or offend another person when done by someone motivated by sexual interest; acts related to sexual exploitation, such as those related to pornography, prostitution involving minors, or coercion of minors to perform obscene acts.” {Including over the internet}

Each one of these individual areas which make up sexual violence, i.e. Rape have their own individual criteria, which explained, are all very different. If you think it would be helpful; I can certainly write about each one for you, please send me a message or make a comment below about what you want to learn and I will do my best.

Basically the thing that needs to be understood is CONSENT. U16- no consent can be given. If you want a really clear-cut understanding of consent you should check out this small 2-minute YouTube clip, which talks about consent. You can check it out HERE. The feedback I have received around the issue of consent is very blurry and can sometimes leave people getting into a great deal of trouble because they do not understand consent.

Putting it simply- a child under the age of 12 (in Australia) cannot give consent- ever. A child between the ages of 12-16 cannot give consent either, however, some consideration could be given if perhaps one party was 17 and the other was 15; if the older party was of the belief that the ‘victim’ was 16.

Regardless, if something was happening and there was sexual behaviour occurring between two ‘consenting’ 15 year olds, it is possible that both could be investigated. Each case reported to police will be assessed individually.

Because I have some creative juices flowing- I threw this little poem together which perhaps will give you a unique insight as to what sexual abuse and violence sounds like. This is of course based on my own experience.

The Hideous Deception

 

It does sound kinda yuck, in fact yuck it kinda sounds
I don’t like it when you talk about it,
Makes me wanna frown.
It makes me angry, makes me sad,
Makes me wanna cry,
It really is the very thing that makes me wanna die.
It is forced and not consensual,
Nothing about “this sex’ is sensual,
Reminds me of the numb I feel.
The years of abuse, the raw deal.
Exploited, thwarted, cavorted and played.
Groomed, pruned and broke.
Nothing could have prepared me,
For the cunning words you spoke.
Coercion, distortion, things out of proportion,
Extortion, repulsion- it’s Rape…
Confusion, delusion, hate;
I wish I had understood the hideous transgression,
Makes me feel kinda bent,
Like my innocence, I’m not your possession,
Thank God, for my own inception.
I found my strength to conquer this hideous deception.
 
Kelly Humphries – 2017

 

While that is an individual expression of what Sexual Violence may be to one person, the effects of any sexual offence and personal violation of any kind can be far reaching.

If you are someone who has read this and feels that they have had an offence occur IMG_0044against them of a sexual nature, please get some support. You can find support links HERE. I would encourage you to connect with people who will understand your situation, and can provide appropriate advice. I would also encourage you to speak to Police, make a report and get advice. (more on this in future blogs)

Take care and stay safe!

 

Much Love

Kel XO

 

 

 

 

#KellyHumphriesSpeaker #YourQuestionsAnswered #Resilience #HideousDeception #BreakTheCycle #Purpose #UnscathedBeauty #SexualAbuse #SexualViolence #KelsPoems #KellyHumphries

 

 

 

Disclaimer:

Every situation is different and each situation has its own very complex circumstances. There are no hard and fast answers, what I say here is my experience- and my own opinion supported at times by research.

This stuff is not black and white. It just can’t be. What is black and white/ right and wrong is that Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence is never ok, and it is never under any circumstances right.

What is grey is in fact terribly dark… That is the silence that sits surrounding this topic. The shame and absolute fear so heavily laden on the shoulders of victims that the mere thought of speaking brings crippling anxiety and fear.

Lets change that… together. #LetsMakeChange

 

 

If you are in immediate danger, please call 000 in Australia.

To report sexual abuse to police- please attend a Police Station or call 131444 for Policelink. (Australia)

To seek support or assistance you can contact me, www.kellyhumphries.com (I am a single entity who can offer advice, and personal coaching. I am not a psychologist or registered counsellor, but I am very approachable and happy to help.

You can contact the Centre for Sexual Violence at http://www.casv.org.au and download any of their brochures and information, and likewise Bravehearts- https://bravehearts.org.au/

For internet related advice please contact The Carly Ryan Foundation http://www.carlyryanfoundation.com

 

Reference:

Miller-Keane Encyclopedia and Dictionary of Medicine, Nursing, and Allied Health, Seventh Edition. © 2003 by Saunders, an imprint of Elsevier, Inc. [online] Available at: http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/sexual+abuse [10/04/2017]

Special Thanks to Katrina Weeks- Centre for Sexual Violence Logan for her collaboration.

FOR BLOG Intro Sexual Abuse Series.jpeg

Some time ago I put up a Facebook post asking people what they wanted to know when it comes to sexual abuse, assault and child trauma. I believe I am qualified to answer most of the questions posed to me- I was a victim myself, for a period of 8 years my Uncle took it upon himself to sexually abuse me. He groomed me, he groomed my family and now- I am trying to do something so our families, friends and communities are safer. What am I doing? I am sharing my story, being a voice, encouraging, connecting, writing and anything else that brings this topic out of the shadows. I speak for those who cannot, and I am a voice, to give hope…hopefully, and bring light into this dark space. I am learning, and I am growing.

I have had 10 years of frontline policing work with a significant amount of time working with young people. I have a degree in psychology, and health and fitness. I have been an athlete for over 27 years, and now I am a certified Results Coach and John Maxwell Team Coach.

While I may not have all the technical terms, what I will share with you over the coming weeks and months will be as real as I can be. The way I see it, for the everyday person we rarely know where to look to find the answers to these profound questions. Questions like, ‘How do I know if my child is being groomed? What do I look for to see if my child is being sexually abused? How can I forgive them, the perpetrator for what happened? Is this my fault? Why did this happen? Why do paedophiles offend?

We are afraid of the answers, we are afraid of the truth; let’s face it- some of us are afraid of the questions at all. I was afraid of the answers too, and it wasn’t until I wrote my book- to be published this year #UnscathedBeauty that I realised how much I had been hiding, not only from the world, but from myself.

We can so easily find ourselves caught between morals and societal expectations around whether this thing called Sexual abuse, or rape or any kind of sexual anything should be spoken about, or even if it’s ‘proper’ to ask. The courage and strength it takes to go through this journey (However that looks) is exceptionally hard to find, but once you know how, it can be done and you will realise; parent, friend, supporter, or whoever you are on this journey that you really do have what it takes.

I know how hard it is… even though many may see me as a tough, strong woman… I can be afraid. Fear can take over… and sometimes I am not tough at all. I don’t feel that strength and I have to dig way deep into the recesses of my mind and find those slivers of courage- and it’s because these fears don’t go away… the fear of judgement, the fear of speaking at all. There is always something that lingers… but we just get better at talking and coping, and it gets easier. It gets easier when people connect, collaborate and validate. I have learnt that I am okay, I can talk, I can speak and I can write… though that wasn’t always true.

Now it is. If you want to join me on my journey- if you want to know the answers. Then connect with me. Like my Facebook Page, collaborate with me-and lets change how this whole space looks. Get brave with me! I am asking you to please share this blog, get people to follow along. You can also follow through Facebook or Twitter.

We can make a difference. You can make a difference.

#KellyHumphriesSpeaker. #UnscathedBeauty #BreakTheCycle #SayNo

world is your playground

“An enduring symbol of happiness is the delightful little Bluebird. Bluebird beckons the day with the simple pleasures and sings the song that happiness is possible, it is the gift you give to yourself. If you are going through a dark time, Bluebirds remind us that things will be brighter, just hold on and get through this day” 

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When I was just a small child someone in my family- probably my beautiful mother bought me a Bluebird badge. Engraved with my name, I never knew for sure what it meant- or did I? Recently when looking for photos for my book, #UnscathedBeauty I found my Bluebird badge. I started to put things together in my mind and I realised just how much this enduring symbol of happiness had sat with me. How I had held on… for dear life.

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Me- about 5 years old. 

I would pray, from the very depths of my soul for Jesus to come and rescue me, that he would make me into a bird so I could fly far away, so I could be happy. So I could get away from him, my abusive uncle. In hindsight, I was mostly happy as a child and prayers were answered, i just didnt know it then. How? While all this sexual abuse I had been going through kept happening- I held so tight to the simple things in life. The moments of joy, the cow poo fights with my brother, pushing my sister around in the washing basket and dancing in the rain in my underwear. The smell of mums cooking and baiting a hook while fishing with dad- not to mention catching a fish! Those were the simple things in life that made the darkness fall away, like the rain that washed me clean, and like my prayers that were sent to heaven, love restored me in a way that I could continue for another day. While the battle has raged for years, peaks and troughs… highs and lows, we learn, and life teaches us how to survive. Putting it simply, it gets better because we get better. We learn and grow.

See I did learn a lesson from the Bluebird… I learnt to hold on and I learnt to how to be free- it just took a while. I also learnt patience. I learnt to wait until it was safe and the time was right to fly…

I don’t know who wrote this poem- ‘the bluebird’, only that in my dreams I flew and still do, every night- Thats what I did- that is how I dreamed…that is also how I survived. 

The Bluebird while just a symbol has been a symbol which has held firm in the background of my life. As I looked up the Bluebird on the ever faithful google, so many things refer to the Bluebird being stuck in your heart… oh the metaphors… pretty little Bluebird… your time to fly is now. As I get close to the publishing of my book, I see how far I have come, and all that has been achieved.

If you are in a dark space, a struggle, a situation or circumstance that you feel you can find no way out of, take a lesson from me… from the Bluebird… hold on. Hold on to the moments of love and happiness in your life and embrace them. It may be the simplest thing, but when you are ready to look up again- you will find you are stronger, more courageous than ever before and the world really is your playground.

Much Love xo Kel

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I don’t know who wrote this, only that in my dreams I fly, and every night- Thats what I did- that is also how I survived. 

 

#Bluebird #UnscathedBeauty #KellyHumphries #SexualAbuse #Don’tGiveUp #courage #KellyHumphriesSpeaker #OvercomingAbuse #morethanalabel #Author #Change The World

Blogs by Kelly

“Sometimes we dare to dream we have the ability to do something powerful: a thing, which holds meaning and purpose. Sometimes we are even brave enough to allow ourselves an opportunity to do that ‘thing’ we have always dreamed about doing. Even fewer times do we allow ourselves permission to actually do it!” Kelly Humphries- Author, Speaker, Coach

I believe that we all desire to succeed in our own way; to be the best that we can be and do something incredible with our lives.

Often times though we are clouded by life and the situations that surround us. We cannot see past our crisis and it’s easy to become buried, dark, depressed and lack lustre about life. We seek to understand and feel misunderstood. We grind through life, we hope and fall on our faces eating dirt and feel the whole world is on a vendetta to get at us.

Well, luckily… we have a choice… we can be de-vined by our painful past, situations or circumstances or we can choose to hold on to the vine and grow out of control.

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I am reminded of this simple thing after spending a week in Sydney just recently, becoming an accredited results coach. I was all a-buzz with the collective consciousness, the incredible energy that permeated the training room and the sheer passion and enthusiasm of the other coaches to make a difference to others lives.

The vine was alive and full of life, and by choosing to be vulnerable, seek insight and tapping into the strength and knowledge of the others around me, I grew leaps and bounds in a mere 6 days. Growth can be found anywhere though, you just need to look for it. Seek like minded people. Be disciplined and choose to challenge your limitations by stretching through your comfort zone. You can do it!

I am now more congruent than ever with my message of finding, stepping into and unleashing my Unscathed Beauty- That is all you are and all you are meant to be despite life and all that occurs around you which would seek to bring you down. You have power and dominion over that darkness and can choose to walk in the light. Just decide!

So I ask you… what vine are you clinging to? Is it encouraging your growth? Is it inhibiting your freedom to move and step forward into the path you desire? Is your past keeping you locked in the shadows.

Grasp hold of your passion and purpose for this life and know that you have incredible value!

You owe it to yourself to put your personal growth at the forefront of your priorities. Don’t be separated from the vine. Get close to people who can encourage your personal growth and push you forward into your goals and future.

You deserve success and you deserve to Unleash your Growth. That is to be the best version of who you are, to have success and leave the legacy you have only ever dreamed of.

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Thanks Team!

Thank-you to the incredible vine of people who helped me explode exponentially this past week and to my family for holding fort in my absence!

#UnleashYourUnscathedBeauty #UnleashYourGrowth #UnscathedBeauty #Kelly Humphries #Success #Purpose #PersonalDevelopment #destiny #AuthenticEducation

meme-blog-success

Well done guys, you are getting toward the end of my 5-point plan to shine your best light in 2017! Are you ready to step up… and step out?

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You should have now made your commitments for 2017, and written your 5x Statements of Achievement for each one of your commitments.

 

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NOW… you can go ahead and move into how you are going to make these things happen! That is your 5x Actions to Accomplishment. This is essentially how you are going to achieve your commitments. You need to ensure that you make these actions achievable- and not things that you cannot possibly do; or we set ourselves up to fail. These of course can be changed, added to, increased or decreased. Why? Because life is busy, so put in what you know you can achieve, and then add more as you feel your capacity grow.

It looks like this… utilising point 1 from my Statements of Achievement-

My 5x Actions to Accomplishment are ways in which you will achieve each of your 5x Statements of Achievement. You can then add these into your schedule or calendar as you see fit and to what you believe you can achieve.

i.e. I am committed to my own personal Growth.

  1. Read 6 personal growth books during 2017
  2. Continue attending Toastmasters Meetings monthly
  3. Find an appropriate mentor by March, 2017
  4. Attend 2 Self Development courses during 2017
  5. Complete an individual development plan for 2017

actions-to-accomplishmentAll you then need to do is slot this into your calendar as you feel is appropriate.

You have done extremely well if you have decided to give this a go. I know I have much more clarity about what I am doing as a result of mapping out my own plan. It takes humility and conviction to which if you are still with me you already have.

5x Statements of Commitment (your unwavering commitments)

5 x Statements of Achievement (what will help you achieve your commitment)

5 X Actions of Accomplishment. (Actions in order to fulfil your achievements)

So now go ahead and set your actions to accomplishment and start moving towards your own personal success plan!

You deserve success. You deserve to achieve incredible things. You are made uniquely, for a unique purpose! Don’t miss it by allowing it to pass you by! Keep walking, moving, and pushing forward. Fix your eyes on the destination, the purpose and the intention. One goal at a time, you will get there!

For steps 1-4 see the following links!

You can find step 1/5 HERE

You can find step 2/5 HERE

You can find step 3/5 HERE

You can find step 4/5 HERE

 

Congratulations!

 

#Writing #Dreams #5pointplan #UnscathedBeauty #Foundations#Author #KellyHumphries #SexualAbuse #Success #Purpose #Change The World #StepUp

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So now you have made your commitments you are ready to move on to the next phase of the 5-point plan to shine your incredible unique light in 2017. Now we look towards creating the next step and this is your 5x Statements of Achievement. Well done for getting this far along!

 

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I have provided an example below of what this looks like.

Remember these are my personal 5x Core Commitments (yours may look slightly different, but as I said in my fist blog of this series, we are all fundamentally the same)

  • I am committed to my faith/spirituality. (God/connection/meaning- purpose)
  • I am committed to myself. (Me and my personal wellbeing and growth)
  • I am committed to my family. (Immediate/those who represent family)
  • I am committed to my friends. (Close Circle- followed my outer circle (you can only do so much with your time!))
  • I am committed to my career. (Passion, Occupation)

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My five Statements of achievement are what I believe will ensure I fulfil my commitments. So to show you what 5x Statements of Achievement look like I have worked with my own commitment number 2.

2- I am committed to myself.

My 5x Statements of Achievement for commitment number 2 are as follows.

  1. I am committed to my personal growth.
  2. I am committed to my physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.
  3. I am committed to my personal healing.
  4. I am committed to being kind to myself.
  5. I am committed to being passionate.

5-core-commitments-and-statements-of-achievementEach one of your commitments should have their own statements of achievement. When you are making these statements think about the things that have meaning and purpose for you. For example, I am committed to my healing because of what has occurred in my life, I know I need to allow myself space to explore my own healing (this year) I want to be the best advocate for change that I can be when it comes to making the world a safer place for our kids. I feel that to give myself that space will allow me to be stronger, and more capable when it gets hard.

I am not content to allow my past to define me, rather allow myself to become the diamond in the rock and shine my best light. So make your commitments appropriate to your needs. It might be your education, your diet, your personal safety or whatever the case is. It is what is important in your life NOW.

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Take time with these: it matters. You matter, you can do this, and you are worth it. As Dr Steve Mariboli says, “Intent reveals desire; Action reveals commitment.”

You can find step 1/5 HERE

You can find step 2/5 HERE

You can find step 3/5 HERE

 

# KellyHumphriesSpeaker #UnscathedBeauty #Foundations #Commitment #SexualAbuse #5pointplan #SexualViolence

 

 

Is your house made of straw or is your house made of bricks?

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You have already started the process by giving yourself the opportunity to get yourself set for 2017 and committing to a plan for your OWN success. Congratulations on getting to step 3!

If your still reading that means that you are indeed committed to the journey and I congratulate you! Thanks for sticking with me.

screen-shot-2016-12-30-at-11-00-08-amAs I said earlier I took myself on a 10-day journey of discovery in how to overcome trauma. Part of that journey was about stepping into my OWN success despite adversity. So while I contemplated life over a campfire in the bush, I
started my 5-point plan with a set of commitments. Before I was able to make any kind of commitments I needed to know what I valued and what was important to me.

SO… before you start on you 2017 plan lets ponder what it is that you are willing to commit to and what you feel that you can commit to.

There is no point making a commitment that you  cannot fulfil.

If you are reading this, you will be the first to know how Kel’s going to get it done… (Certainly not without help!) Everything comes back to the 5 commitments that you will choose to make. These are the things that you will not waver on.

To show you what I mean- this is at the core of my personal 5-point success plan there is no compromise on these because you must have a strong foundation in order maintain your focus and position. My head is set and ready- now it’s time to get committed.

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Kel’s 5 Core Commitments.

  • I am committed to my faith/spirituality. (God/connection/meaning- purpose)
  • I am committed to myself. (my personal growth and wellbeing)
  • I am committed to my family. (Immediate/those who represent family)
  • I am committed to my friends. (Close Circle)
  • I am committed to my career. (Passion, Occupation)

See if you can mimic these 5x commitment with the understanding that commitment is about being dedicated and devoted to a cause. That is YOU.

In the next blog we will look at how we move into the next part of the plan. The next step is 5 x Statements of Achievement (what will help you achieve your commitment) and 5 X Actions to Accomplishment. (Actions in order to fulfil your achievements)

If I can do this- little farm girl Kel… you can do this; wherever you are! Just don’t give up!

You can find step 1 HERE

You can find step 2 HERE

#Dreams #Purpose #Sexual Abuse #Foundations #Success #Play Hard #Speaker #KellyHumphries # KellyHumphriesSpeaker #Courage

meme-blog2-of-5Where’s your head at?

It’s that time of year- where we think about what’s to come, and what we want to achieve – although its flying past already! Maybe you are feeling stagnant? Is it that you are turning things over and over in your head and seemingly can’t escape the rat race to find clarity? Are you desperate to move forward…or at least just move? Maybe you are already moving- well done my friend!

As I write this series I find myself smashing a Santa cookie with my cup of tea, I am grateful, for all I have, all I am and all those who love and support me… It’s Boxing Day, I have eaten too much food as usual… so I can forgive the Santa cookie- for today!

I am humbled. I reflect and start to think about the millions of things I want to do this year. I find that familiar feeling of frustration creeping back again, my anxiety sending up the hair on the back of my neck, and I find myself thinking- “How am I even going to get even one of these things achieved?”

Sometimes having ideation as my number one skill can be very difficult to balance let alone feel balanced at all. I need to ask myself, “where am I looking today? Where’s my head at?

I decided to try a few new things this year and I recently did a 10-day journey of self-discovery in overcoming trauma after my own childhood nightmare. I will share this journey with you over the next 12 months, but part of this journey was about how to move forward and step into my OWN success. I have already been a successful athlete and faced my share of adversity in this life, but as old scars have reopened I have found myself facing new hurdles, with old skills.

I needed a new plan and as I shared in my previous blog, I like things to be simple. We don’t need to be creative geniuses to have a personal development plan. You don’t need to be a CEO of a large business. If you are the boss of a household; that is a big enough job. EVERYONE deserves the best chance to succeed at life. Everyone deserves to find their #UnscathedBeauty.

To do this, to make my own personal development plan – I had to ask myself some questions, and get very real with myself. It was time to face up to the things that hurt so I could chase my dreams without carrying around a large weight on my shoulders. It is time to be brave people… I don’t want to be bitter and resentful when that time comes because I never achieved my hearts own desires. My encouragement to you would be the following:

  • Give yourself the quality time and space to make a plan- you deserve to be your best, and your best can take time. (set yourself a date and time and stick to it) you may need a few hours.
  • Find someone who is willing to be your accountability partner, someone who can help you achieve success, and help you answer the tough questions- without dulling your flame. This person may not be your spouse or partner but someone outside your immediate circle.
  • Be willing to get very real with yourself, face your fears and be humble enough to admit your own strengths and weaknesses. (This is what gives you the space to grow and understand your purpose)
  • Be committed to the process. (Like I said I have tried to make it simple- I don’t do complicated so roll with it and you will be surprised at the outcome) If for some reason its not working for you I will be happy to help clarify.

I also came up with 5 belief statements that act as Mantra’s- they are to help me stay true to my own self and pushing towards my goals. I would encourage you to do the same- you can borrow mine or make statements that will drive you this year.

For example.

1- I have integrity

2- I am valuable

3- I am focussed

4- I am passionate

5- I will make a difference

What this does is creates a mindset for success- its like ploughing and fertilising a field before planting the seeds. You have to have your head right!

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Take the time to answer the tough questions. You are worth the effort and the journey to success. As Debi Auger- a business professional says, “Before you can master your business- or your life, you must first master your mindset.”

Stay tuned for part 3 moving into your best- Kel’s 5-point plan for success.

You can find step 1/5 here.

 

 

 

 

 

#Personal Development #KellyHumphries #5pointplan #Author #Success #SexualAbuse. #Overcome

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Step 1- Knowing you need a plan- committing to the idea.

Knowing why you need a personal development plan is essential.
It doesn’t need to be hard… or complicated… but failing to plan, is planning to fail…

The older I get, the fatter, wrinklier I seem to become and the less I seem to know about some things. While I am not too old, I find that no matter where you go, or who you are- In the words of Ellen DeGeneres “I believe that we can all come together because if you take away the labels, we’re all far more alike than we are different.”

We all get caught up in life. We all seek happiness, love, contentment and satisfaction. For the majority of us, it is a battle. Some of us are better fighters than others, but that does not mean there is not a warrior within capable of withstanding huge adversity and still succeeding. Many of us are restless. I know I am. I know what I want and I can see it… and I am hungry for it.screen-shot-2017-01-02-at-10-28-19-pm

It has not just come over night, and I am far from reaching my goal. I have realized that the childhood adversity I have experienced has cost me greatly in terms of my self-esteem, personal value and my progression. It seems, I have failed time and again.

But despite all that, I have learnt a great deal about myself, how to overcome adversity and with clever planning and support, still achieved incredible things. I believe we all have that #UnscathedBeauty inside of us- the part that no matter what adversity rears it’s head, we hold on to- it is the very core of who we are, our unique and incredible heartbeat. when life beats us up and pulls us off track, sometimes, we don’t even know if we have a heart beat!

I understand that it takes time, discipline and determination to achieve. The world has changed and I sometimes feel caught up in all that is around me. Social media, problems at work, problems with life, illness and injury… This thing called life is damn distracting! It is always going to happen and while I feel like sometimes there is no point… I have come too far to fail because I have not set myself up to succeed.

This is why you need a personal development plan: because we live in a world of chaos, and chaos rules if you cannot hold your own clarity and focus. That is the first step- understanding that you need some kind of plan in order to achieve.

Without a destination, you are just a ship floating on the ocean, running adrift wherever the wind takes you.

I can look at the Internet and find thousands of very overwhelming ways to make a personal development plan… and its seems a little complicated. Being the uncomplicated farm girl that I am I have come up with my own way to do this- and its really simple.

I want to share this with you and help you get set to be the best that you can be, for yourself, your family and your community. You deserve the opportunity to make your mark on this world. So, start thinking about some of these things to get your head in the right space.

What would you like to achieve in your life? What are you passionate about?

I will share with you how you can start achieving in leaps and bounds in 2017 with my 5-point plan for total success.

Stay tuned for part two of being getting set to achieve in 2017

 

 

#Getsettosucceed #KellyHumphries #5pointplan #EllenDeGeneres #Plantosucceed

 

Happy New Year

 

Hey Guys! Are you ready for 2017?IMG_0055 copy

I know I am getting well and truly set with a new and exciting personal development plan. In trying to run the same race each year and not always doing so well, I want to make sure I set myself up this year to achieve all I want, so I can have an incredibly successful year.

Throughout 2016 I have spoken to many people across the community about sexual violence and how important it is to be brave and break the cycle! My book #UnscathedBeauty is coming along nicely, and I am starting to delve press into areas I have been too afraid or self-conscious to do. I have a huge and exciting plan and I cannot wait to walk it out!

I have struggled immensely up until now, within myself, and fought many internal battles to get to this point, but I have grown exponentially.

What I didn’t realise, as I have undertaken the journey of writing my book and starting to speak about what happened, is just how far reaching the effects of the abuse went and how much of my life had changed as a result. I know that the course I have been steered I am using to do things I never thought I would, and in many ways trying to help people overcome. What I also know is that these effects come when you
least expect them. Things like fearing confrontation. Pleasing others. Acting out of guilt and so many other things.

So, I took myself awaimg_6672y on a 10-day intensive challenge where I dealt with some of my demons from my past; that being the sexual abuse that occurred at the hands of my uncle. I went camping in a place with very few people; in fact I was mostly alone for the best part of 10 days in the bush. I underwent an incredible transformation within myself during this time.

While I was away, I started to come up with my own personal development plan. How I was going to walk free from that past and step into a new and wonderful success that belonged to me. That I was free and fully capable of achieving this success.

Over the next 5 blogs, I will share the process of how I set my personal success plan for 2017. It is called, Kel’s 5-point plan- to achieve the best success for yourself in 2017.

So please take a moment to peruse my plan, and use as your own – or in fact, I encourage you to use mine as a template to create your own plan. One that fits you.

Bless you and best wishes for an absolutely incredible 2017- STAY SAFE! STAY TUNED!

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#Getsettosucceed #UnscathedBeauty #Success #NoFear #5pointplan #KellyHumphries #BeYourBest #Author #Plantosucceed