KH-Manager
, , , ,

New Year- No Fear! Plan to Succeed in 2017

Happy New Year

 

Hey Guys! Are you ready for 2017?IMG_0055 copy

I know I am getting well and truly set with a new and exciting personal development plan. In trying to run the same race each year and not always doing so well, I want to make sure I set myself up this year to achieve all I want, so I can have an incredibly successful year.

Throughout 2016 I have spoken to many people across the community about sexual violence and how important it is to be brave and break the cycle! My book #UnscathedBeauty is coming along nicely, and I am starting to delve press into areas I have been too afraid or self-conscious to do. I have a huge and exciting plan and I cannot wait to walk it out!

I have struggled immensely up until now, within myself, and fought many internal battles to get to this point, but I have grown exponentially.

What I didn’t realise, as I have undertaken the journey of writing my book and starting to speak about what happened, is just how far reaching the effects of the abuse went and how much of my life had changed as a result. I know that the course I have been steered I am using to do things I never thought I would, and in many ways trying to help people overcome. What I also know is that these effects come when you
least expect them. Things like fearing confrontation. Pleasing others. Acting out of guilt and so many other things.

So, I took myself awaimg_6672y on a 10-day intensive challenge where I dealt with some of my demons from my past; that being the sexual abuse that occurred at the hands of my uncle. I went camping in a place with very few people; in fact I was mostly alone for the best part of 10 days in the bush. I underwent an incredible transformation within myself during this time.

While I was away, I started to come up with my own personal development plan. How I was going to walk free from that past and step into a new and wonderful success that belonged to me. That I was free and fully capable of achieving this success.

Over the next 5 blogs, I will share the process of how I set my personal success plan for 2017. It is called, Kel’s 5-point plan- to achieve the best success for yourself in 2017.

So please take a moment to peruse my plan, and use as your own – or in fact, I encourage you to use mine as a template to create your own plan. One that fits you.

Bless you and best wishes for an absolutely incredible 2017- STAY SAFE! STAY TUNED!

img_5931

 

#Getsettosucceed #UnscathedBeauty #Success #NoFear #5pointplan #KellyHumphries #BeYourBest #Author #Plantosucceed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

/by
KH-Manager
, , ,

Licking the bowl… or just getting old?

Happy Holidays and best wishes

merry-christmas

As Christmas dawns on the horizon- and is already upon us I remember the sweet innocence of those twinkling lights, the star on the tree and how we rocked along to Disney’s Christmas Carols – singing our hearts out like the sweet little birds that we were as kids- or maybe not so sweet!

While we innocently waited for Santa to come and bring his sack full of toys, with absolute wonderment and joy and we revelled in the moments of true connection and love, as life waged its war with time we became like the crinkles in the corner of our eyes. Lost in time.

We pitter patted around and put cookies and milk out for Santa, carrots for the reindeer… and we would be in bed early because, ‘He see’s you when your sleeping- and knows when your awake.’ So quickly and seeded with anticipation we would wait for the first one to wake up on Christmas morning… and the screaming and excitement would begin.

I cry as I write this, because I realise what I have missed and what I mourn… What my heart aches for and what life does to us if we don’t keep things in check. As a survivor of Sexual abuse, I have learnt this phenomenon of the ‘inner child.’

I might point out I thought this was all very cliché. But I come to realise very quickly that my innocence, that child was part of me and still is. We all have the memories of our youth that shape and mould us. We all still have that beautiful innocence and joy of children within us- we just forget it is there when life and adversity rears its head and we are forced to act like adults.

I remember how much fun I had at Christmas, and yet the dark sadness of what lay beneath and what was happening would see the simple joys fade like a moment of sunshine flittering in and out behind dark clouds. I was not like the other kids.

My little girl was stolen from me by my Uncle; just like joy may be stolen from you, through situation or circumstance, or maybe just pain… I lost her. I lost her sweet song and her dance in the pain of my innocence lost. My #UnscathedBeauty: all that I am, all that I was meant to be. My laughter and smiles- where did that unbridled laughter go?

It became tinged with deceit. That’s where it went. It become chained by fear and lost in the feeling that no place was safe, and the world was scary. I had to grow up, just so I could live.

Maybe you had to grow up too…really fast. Maybe you are holding on for all you feel you are worth. Perhaps you feel that have no more strength. No time. No money. Perhaps you have forgotten the beautiful wonderful things in this life Maybe your little inner child gone into hiding and you don’t know where they went.

img_6641That’s ok- I only just found her myself skipping around the Christmas tree and singing Christmas carols.

Do the things that make you smile! Build a cubby house or do a colouring in picture. Turn the sprinkler on, run underneath it and laugh like you don’t care. Lick the bowl when you make your next cake and let it smear all over your face…
Look at the people around you and take joy in the simplicity.

It’s is not about things and stuff… They won’t matter later. Love matters and #connectionmatters. Take time to connect with people. Connection creates healing.

So, from my family to yours have an incredible, simple, connected and loving Christmas, filled with innocence, joy and uninhibited laughter!

Much Love- Kel xo

/by
KH-Manager
, , ,

What is your Unscathed Beauty?

IMG_0055 copy

Your Unscathed Beauty is everything you are, and everything that you are meant to be.

You are not your past. You are not your pain. You are more than what you see in your physical self. You are more than the voices you hear about who you are. You are more than a label, or a passing phase.

You matter. You are designed for a purpose and that is why you are unique.

There is nothing that compares to the #human spirit. Your spirit. The will to survive, the courage and strength it takes to face your deepest of fears.
Your #UnscathedBeauty lives in you and beckons to you to come out and reveal yourself to the world. The light inside you, which can shine brighter than you have ever dreamed. It is that thing in you that aches, screams and eats at you. It doesn’t let you rest because it is your call; your #destiny.

It is also who you choose to become when the world throws ‘life’ at you. It is what you hold on to when times get hard, as they do in life. Let it be the light of the beauty in you that leads you, not the dark that deceives you.

Your Unscathed Beauty is all that you can be- and you own it. It is yours and no person or situation can take it from you.

Hold onto it, nurture it and then- Unleash it!

#KellyHumphries #Author #Speaker #JohnMaxwellTeam

 

 

/by
KH-Manager
, , ,

Walking with Wendy – Step One to Unleashing my Unscathed Beauty

There is not one quote by Kelly

There is not one

It started when I was a teen…a broken and rejected soul who fought make sense of the world. My ideal was a figment of my own imagination, and imagination was utilised to make sense of a distorted reality. Somewhere in the void and the darkness, I believed that there was a reason for what was happening, and had been happening since I was just a little girl. There had to be a purpose for why I was being sexually abused by my uncle. I made excuses, I hid, I was brave and held my own to protect my secret. Our secret.

 

I aimed for perfection, in favour of rejection.

I mourned innocence, in favour of reverence and significance.

I battled my pride in the tears that were my friend in the night.

I made it better by helping other people, encouraging and doing what I could to make the world a better place than I knew it to be.

One day… I would help girls and boys like me. One day, people would know and I would make a difference. Fear was my friend, because when I was afraid, I knew I was still okay, and I could feel something. Fear was also my enemy because that vision of helping other people has eaten at me for too long, and kept me bound in a shadow of who I could be. I am not sorry. Why? Because I am becoming the best version of who I am, and I have needed to undertake this journey in order to heal and get myself into a position to do this.

I am ready now; thank you for waiting for me!

When I was happy, which was the most part of my childhood, I held on to it. I loved the bush, I loved the smell of mum’s cooking and I loved being an athlete. I was a good athlete. I wanted to be an Olympian and I held tight to that dream… That dream saved me. That dream and the love and blessings of the people around me have grounded me and reminded me of what is important and who I am.

What is ‘Unscathed Beauty’ and what does it mean to unleash it?

It is your heart and your soul.

It is your passion and your vision.

It is your freedom and your hope.

It is your strength and your value.

It is who you were made to be; your dreams spoken, and unspoken.

It is you … and it is me. It is every person who has ever been in a dark place and felt brokenness, dismay, shame or guilt just to name a few.

It is for anyone who has faced adversity and still struggles to find their identity, especially in this chaotic world. Maybe you have been able to rise above that. Maybe you have been able to conquer your darkness. Or maybe you are like me and darkness comes every now and then and you are still learning how to claw your way out. The truth is, there is never a reason for child abuse, but I can turn my circumstances into a cornerstone of strength. I can choose now to make a difference. See I never knew, and he never said… it was a selfish ambition which did not belong to me, but to my perpetrator.

You see, Unscathed Beauty is all that you are, and that which you fight for. It is that thing that you hold onto when there seems to be nothing left within you. It is how you survive.

It is the beauty and the joy that is innately you that no predator, paedophile, abuser or set of adverse circumstances can touch. No person can take it, and no person can make it. It is yours; it is your gift to the world, and it is absolutely amazing and beautiful. It is your Unscathed Beauty.

It is also the title of my book. It is part of my journey, but not all. It has taken some time to answer the challenge of my teens… but I am here now. How? Well I have held onto hope and love. I grasped hold of who I am, and my Unscathed Beauty – now I am unleashing it. I am walking in the freedom of who I am and learning, every day, just how bold I can be.

Walking with Wendy, what can I say…?

I met Wendy just over 18 months ago at a public event where she spoke very passionately about her work. She moved something in my spirit and there was a connection. We both knew there was a reason for the connection. No words were spoken directly to each other, but there was a subtle shift and if I weren’t listening to my heart I would have missed it. There didn’t need to be any words, but I believe we have been led to work together and I am grateful to the many prayers and support I have received to get to this point so far. I am supported on this journey, and blessed and that is why I know Unscathed Beauty will be an incredible piece of work- perhaps my best achievement yet. Wendy Millgate
has the words… (Wendy & Words) and Wendy is now my editor.

We stayed in contact through emails and social media, but we were not able to catch up until Friday 3rd May 2016. While I shared my words and my heart for my book with Wendy, nibbled on copious amounts of chocolate and drank lots of tea, I also cried over my heart to change this space for women and men, and those who are struggling to overcome adversity based on childhood experiences. Wendy listened.

Unscathed Beauty is the first of many books that I will write. Someone once said to me, ‘…. as if you will ever write a book.’ Well I have now – and I could say a few things to that someone… but maybe I should thank them. When someone says I can’t, I say, ‘I can so!’

I finished my final draft of Unscathed Beauty a few months ago, and it has come together nicely. Now it is sitting in the capable hands of Wendy who will dissect it and pull it apart, so I can bring you the best version of Unscathed Beauty that I can.

Together with my friends, family and you, we will set about on a road to change how we view the #CyclesOfSilence that perpetuate our homes and communities. We will make changes, we will shine a light in a really dark space, and we will bring hope and healing to people that need restoration.

Together we will unleash our #UnscathedBeauty and help others find theirs.

Screen Shot 2016-07-14 at 5.52.45 PM

/by
KH-Manager
,

Learning to survive: the deception of false perception

You are valuable and loved - Kelly

Screen Shot 2016-06-30 at 10.35.31 PM

It doesn’t matter how many times I get on stage and speak… there is a moment of truth between knowing I am meant to do this; this is my call… and the thought of, what on earth are they going to think of me? The voice of my childhood has always weighed heavily on me, in the sense that it always floats annoyingly in the back of my mind. It takes commitment to myself and absolute conviction in what I am doing to drown it out.

One of the I have found in myself- and in my own experience of people who have experienced childhood trauma is this: We have learnt to survive based on how people perceive us. Generally, we develop strategies which ensure self preservation, by keeping people in our circles happy and making sure that we are seen as “good.” You are a people pleaser- generally speaking, which in itself is not a bad thing however, we can tend to spend so much of our time trying to make others happy, to keep peace that we very quickly lose sight of our own being.

I firmly believe that this survival mechanism has been formed out of fear- fear of being found out, or the shame of ‘the secret’ being revealed. It is perpetuated by the predator, who plays on this fear as a silent manipulative means to keep you quiet and trapped in your childhood nightmare. “what will mum and dad think of you if they knew…?” So you hold on, and you maintain your image- after all, by keeping people happy, by making sure people like you and by swallowing your hurt and shame, no one will see all of that darkness and shame that you are so afraid to bring out into the open. No one can judge you and no one hurt you. Realistically, the only person who is really judging is yourself. We are always our worst critics, and in most cases the only one who has a negative perception of you, is you! As it turns out, you are like a treasure chest of unexplored strength and character. You are amazing!

I am still afraid, sometimes my strength fades into the dark recesses of my stomach and churns there. Then the prickling sweat of self consciousness rises up and tells me to run. I take a moment and I think about what I have to do and remind myself, people don’t talk about this stuff for a reason- so it is okay to be afraid, but I will not be defined by that fear. I acquit myself of that fear and remember those emotions are not my own, they belong to him, my perpetrator/predator… so I take a breath, I hold myself proud and I know that I will take up that baton no matter how it feels to me- I know it is temporary, and there is a much greater freedom I can give to someone else by being vulnerable.

It has taken me a long time to hold my own image and value, to let go of what I perceive other people will think- at the end of the day they were lies fed to me out of a predators own cowardice and fear. I am strong, I am valuable and I have a mission- No doubt, so do you. Don’t listen to the lies of you past, but hold on to the beautiful person you are, and the courage that is in your heart.

While I plan in the future to speak on many things, sharing the deeply personal journey through overcoming sexual abuse never feels like it is getting easier. When I do speak though, when I begin to bring this issue into the open I feel strength begin to rise, and I know there is no other way- I am doing what I am meant to do. While I am still relatively new to this, I feel like I am exposing my rawness time and time again. I also know that there are stories in every one of us that has the ability to transform the world. When I think of some of the things I have come across in my work as a Police Officer, I feel like my story is really only minor in comparison to what I have seen, heard or dealt. However, I understand the gifts that I have been given to achieve this task and what has happened is opening a door. It’s a heavy door, one that reeks of deception and old age…. It’s dusty, but now is the time to open door and allow light into this very dark place.

I have the ability to make this stand, and remind anyone who has experienced child trauma or sexual abuse that they are not alone, that there is someone who understands their pain, the anger, fear and shame. To bring something so dark out into the light and remind people that no matter where they have come from, or whatever their story that each of us is created uniquely, beautifully and with an absolute purpose in mind. To help men, women and children see their unique beauty and value and their Unscathed Beauty.

Furthermore, for those who have never felt or experienced anything like this, there is an awareness and understanding raised about an issue that generally causes people to run the other direction. Let’s stop running the other way on this stuff… we need to stand together people… we need to let victims who are true survivors know that they are not alone and can overcome their battles. They are valuable, loved and certainly not a shameful secret. It is time to unshackle the shame- to conquer our fears and unleash our #UnscathedBeauty

hold-your-own-pen1

/by
KH-Manager
, ,

Unlocking the Message- Speakers Institute Australia

Kelly speaking in an event

IMG_0055 copy

It’s been a few weeks since I hit the platform at the Australian Speakers Institute with #SamCawthorn and his team. In fact; time has flown. Life has really gotten away from me in the last couple of weeks and I wanted to just recap an incredible immersive weekend which was spent with amazing people who both inspired and uplifted me.

When I say immersive, the alarm went off at 3am on the morning of the 13th of May, 2016 and we drove to the airport. That day didn’t finish until late Sunday afternoon. I was deliriously tired, but super encouraged through being able to share my story with other speakers and draw strength from each one. I was blessed to share in their tears, their vulnerability and connect with amazing individuals who have a heart to change the world in their own significant ways. I was fortunate to share this experience with my partner and no doubt we traversed our own unique individual journeys and shared in the highs and lows of this experience together.

I was humbled and touched by these incredible world changers I shared a speaking platform with- which took me on a rollercoaster of emotion; that is challenging my own heart and hearing theirs. I was deeply confronted at one point over those three days, in fact it nearly saw me run out the door with my emotions stretching me almost further than I have been. This may be something that I share at a later point, but it involves confronting the biggest demon in my closet. Sometimes I feel like forgiveness is the greatest battle I face, there is freedom in forgiveness, but there is also many layers to how this looks and it is not always black and white. I had to get real with myself, very real.

I felt like a rubber band being held at the point before it snaps… seems like the place I find myself more often than not as I face each challenge on this journey to sharing my heart and story with the world. It is the place where I lose control and have to trust in the ‘big fella’ in a leap of faith seeing me cross from the known, to the unknown. The seen, to the unseen. I know this journey is not mine alone, but his.

IMG_5879

With this incredible opportunity I have been able to tweak and refine my message and consider things I had not thought about when it comes to the challenge of sharing my personal journey with the world and subsequently breaking these cycles of silence. I often feel that I am nothing, and wonder in awe at how far I have walked on my journey, and while it has taken everything in me, I am strong and I am ready to take on the world.

It never ceases to amaze me the power of words and the ability to have a strong conviction One thing is certain, Sexual Abuse is not confined by status or privilege, it does not have a stereotype, and behind some of the strongest figures and leaders is someone who has learnt to fight, and overcome. Thankyou to those who felt safe to disclose and share their story with me even if you have never told anyone- I am humbled and I know that our paths will cross again on this journey to #ChangeTheWorld

So, what did I learn? I saw a map and was given insight into the path I am moving along. I learnt that I can do this, and no matter who I share my story and whatever audience I am in, there is someone who is hiding their secret, someone who is afraid, someone who needed to hear that they are loved and valued no matter their past. I could continue to write pages and pages about what I learnt…. But what I feel the greatest thing I gained from attending this 3 day speakers boot-camp is a unique insight and perspective.

IMG_5880

What did I see? I saw hope. I saw change and I saw myself challenged in ways I didn’t expect. Some good things and some not so good, but with each battle comes a step to getting stronger on the journey to becoming an authority in this area. In my quiet times and reflection I saw faces from my past and the demons I still need to battle to be able to withstand the journey… I am closer now than I ever was.

What did I feel? I felt love, and compassion. Understanding and empowerment. Support and encouragement, and I felt tired! But the kind of tired when you know that you have experienced a transformation. I felt supported by people I had barely met who I would now consider to be close friends and confidants.

What now…? Just you wait and see..! I am taking back my power and building my platform. Help me get the message out there. We must break these #cyclesofsilence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

/by
KH-Manager
, ,

Unleash the Beast!

kelly's image by Christian Del Rosario

It’s time to unleash the beast. The time is now! It is time to step up and step out. This weekend I will travel to Sydney with my partner to the #SpeakersInstitute, Sydney to get bolder, stronger and gain more skills to bring my message to Australia and the world. In a three-day intensive boot-camp I will let the lion inside me loose and I will roar or perhaps squeal…

I have been speaking for a few months now about my heart to change the cycles of abuse which perpetuate our society. To bring to light what happens in the journey of someone who has experienced abuse and the long-term effects that a person will deal with because of childhood trauma.

by Christian Del Rosario

John Maxwell Team event 2014©AttreoStudio All rights reserved 2014 www.ChristianDelRosario.com

It is time to start talking, to give people permission to have a conversation that sometimes remains as closed and hidden as the soul of the person who bears the secret.  The cries of little ones in dark corners and right under our noses go unanswered across the entire globe. Even right here in our unassuming tiny pocket of Australia, there are more secrets than many of us would think or believe. As the cycle continues and the culture of silence goes on, it is time to not just say the words, but to acknowledge the pain behind the problem and face it head on.

In a study conducted by the Australian Institute of Criminology; 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men will experience some kind of sexual abuse before the age of 18 years. This is an epidemic and disease that must be eradicated and these figures are unacceptable. We must take a stand together and collectively become the answer. Let’s make a change. Let’s start talking about the hard stuff. Let us encourage conversations which are going to set people free, not cage people’s dreams. Let us get brave together. We must face our fears and hold on to those things that make us beautiful and unique. That is our courage and our strength.  That is our #UnscathedBeauty.

Much Love Kel XO

IMG_5716

 

/by
KH-Manager
,

Rise Up From the Murky Waters

nz 262
Sticks and Stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me…right? Well, we now know this is a farce; and while we can all look tough on the outside, what’s happening on the inside sometimes seems just about as crazy as the world we live in. I have often found that despite my best efforts to
‘figure myself out,’ I have failed at times and revelation and understanding can take way too long… What is it about life that see’s us go through so many up’s and downs, rollercoasters, roundabouts, and repetitive cycles?

Why do feel like we are stuck sometimes and really can’t find our way out of the murky waters of life? I believe and I always have, that the power in whether we move forward in life is ultimately up to us. To you and me to be strong and make decisions that move us forward in the direction or our goals. Not to let others come along and speak negatively in our life, or poorly influence us, or distract us from what is important.

It is a very difficult journey on your own, and as a childhood survivor of sexual abuse, I know only too well what it feels like to be alone in the middle of a struggle. What I have learnt is that it is much easier to reach out and be vulnerable for a moment to enable you to be strong for a lifetime. You can give all the self-talk and positive affirmation you like, but the journey is much easier when we surround ourselves with people who help to push us in the right direction and fuel our dreams, ignite our passion, share our values and absolutely love us unconditionally. Sometimes that is hard to find, but we have to make a decision to be brave, and seek out the people who will support and love us, and help us grow positively in this journey of life. This includes people who will undoubtedly speak positively into your life.

It turns out that there is some science behind this positive affirmation thing and I can say with 100% certainty the language I speak about myself and allow others to speak into my life really does make a huge difference to my level of success, and my ability to overcome in any situation.

Take this for example; we all know that the human body is made up of mostly water; in fact according to Dr Jeffrey UTZ, a Neuroscientist in Paediatrics from Allegheny University; babies have the most water percentage in their bodies at around 78%. This changes as the child grows to around 60% in adult hood.

emoto-crystal

Dr Masaru Emoto Water Crystal – a happy one!

While I am no scientist and certainly no neuroscientist;  the research of Dr Masaru Emoto provides a great metaphor for the power of positive speaking and affirmation. Dr Emoto, a Japanese author, researcher and entrepreneur, who delved into the research of Water, Consciousness and Intent. He believes that water is the blueprint for humanity and has studied how the water structure changes depending on the energy it is given i.e. music, love, gratitude, positive affirmation and conversely feelings of hate, anger and the like. Watch some of Dr Emoto’s water research here.

The water given the love, gratitude and positive affirmation stayed clear, and when being examined produced beautiful crystalline structures, and the water given the negativity and hate produced deformed and dark crystalline structures. The same is true for a rice experiment which he conducted in the same way,
Dr Emoto’s Rice Study  where the rice given the love, and positive energy was shown to stay almost normal, while the ‘hate’ rice turns dark and quite frankly, rather gross.

While there is undoubtedly much praise for Dr Emoto’s research, there are also some sceptics. It makes a lot of sense to me though when we consider how much water makes up our being, and what we put into our body, how we speak to ourselves and let others speak to us, can really change how we look and feel.

Regardless, it is clear that when we speak love, joy and happiness into someone’s life, and tell ourselves things that will improve us, grow us and make us shine, then we will achieve success and radiate while doing it.

Those who are spoken poorly of; speak poorly to themselves, who are abused, hated and rejected, those who put chemicals, drugs and pollutants through their body; they may look good in the beginning, but eventually, the darkness and the distorted nature of that negativity will destroy and darken the spirit and the mind.

Life will throw us off track at times and it may be hard to connect with those who are passionate about the same things as you. You may not even know what it is you are passionate about, but when you spend time with people who make you feel good about who you are, and what you like, you will probably find your passion will find you.

If you are not feeling so crash hot and the world seems to be dragging you down, have a look at what you are putting into your body. Ask yourself; have I given myself some love today? How can I connect with people like me? Don’t think you are alone ever, there are thousands of ways to connect with people- just start putting it out there and talking to people and you will find your answers.

There is value in looking after you, and loving and supporting other people. Look after your body, and your mind, and you will shine!

Much Love, Kel xo

/by
KH-Manager
, ,

My Roaring Lion

Roaring Lion
lion

How Big Is Your Lion? Photo Credit

 

My Roaring Lion

The innocence of love, The innocence of life,

The ignorance of knowing, or not knowing what is right.

The butterflies of darkness rise up like a wave of fear inside

As the tide of nausea beckons with a message; run. Hide.

Fixated I stand, too scared to comprehend, a moment, a choice,

The uncle whom was trusted and loved, the same who took my voice.

The prickling sweat of hurt, betrayal and all that is lost,

Cannot compare to my innocence, which his cowardice has cost.

Yet scars and time do heal somewhat, as the lion inside me rises,

And though time ticks so slowly by, I’m done with compromises.

I humbly stand right here, right now, a survivor who has overcome,

It’s painful, sad, but it’s true I am not the only one.

It is time to unshackle the shame, the guilt that sees you broken on the floor;

Until every man, woman and child, believes their lion can roar.

 

Kelly Humphries 2016

 

/by
KH-Manager
,

Step into your yes and fly with your why!

Stand out - Osho

stand out

There are some days I wake up and still question the reasons I am here on this earth. Sometimes I think I just simply forget my WHY… or get consumed by the craziness of life and my WHY gets lost. Am I the only one? There are some days I wish I didn’t have to wake up and could sleep the day away, but more often than not, I am glad I still have the opportunity to walk out the path before me. There was a time when I was much younger I had hoped I wouldn’t wake up at all. I let the past consume me and the voices in my head rule the vision in my heart. ‘Why me?’ Time, patience, understanding and perspective has taught me a great many things and is part of the growing up process. I’m not sure we ever fully grow up and we sure don’t ever stop learning!

I don’t always know what it looks like at the end… but I have always known I was born to speak. No one ever asks to go through adversity and certainly no one asks to be a victim of sexual abuse. Its taken a long time to get to this point and embrace my calling. It has certainly come at a price, and that price is freedom. There is only so long that you can continue on a path and ignore the true calling of your life. I feel like there is a huge weight off my chest because I have finally answered that niggling voice that has been annoying me for a good long while. We are all born for something and whether you know it or not, your heart is probably trying tell you in some way. I have finally accepted the mission, and here are a few things that have helped me step into my YES, and fly with my WHY.

Keep your mind in front, not behind: We are not our painful past, and while it is hard, we cannot allow that pain to define who we become in the future; rather allow the lessons from that pain that make us better for the future. It is easy to fall on the wayside when adversity rises up; we can easily be distracted from our goals and purpose because we revert to an old mindset of coping. It is hard to break old habits and sometimes even harder to know that it is a habit. For me- I accept that I am on a journey and I must remain 110% focussed on the vision that fuels my WHY. My biggest why is the lives that I know will be impacted by giving people permission to be brave, speak loudly and proudly, and bring freedom from pain by helping people overcome adversity.

We live in a world of here and now and sometimes I feel like we forget that it takes time to get things right. I am impatient! It takes hard work and perseverance to become the best end-product that you can be. The journey teaches us lessons which we have a choice to learn from or let them slip past us. To be patient with yourself is difficult, but I encourage you to see yourself on a journey of discovery to your best possible self. Look adversity in the eyes and ask yourself, ‘what are you trying to show me?’ Learn and keep your eyes front and centre on your WHY and your passion.

Don’t put it on the shelf, be patient with yourself: When adversity comes, I want to pack my bags and run!  I have often found myself going around and around in circles, overthinking and getting quite worked up- especially in the last few weeks, which has cost me many hours of sleep. As someone who is a creative innovator sometimes my ideas and thoughts can easily overwhelm me and I think to myself; what’s the point? Every time I think I am on the right path, another life lesson rears its head, another failure, another bad voice from my past tells me ‘it would be easier if you just forget this idea or put it on the shelf.’  I found myself praying and asking myself yet again, how do I do this? What am I supposed to do? What is the next chapter? How do I make my book perfect? How can I reach the most people? Argh!!! Too many questions! There is a small voice in me that sometimes gets drowned out in the chaos of life and my own unbelief sometimes. That voice I know is the voice of truth. That is the voice that restores my reasoning, provides clarity, reminds me to hold on to my dream unwaveringly, ensures I remember my WHY and reminds me to be patient with myself. What is your voice telling you?

I know I am not alone in this struggle. My problem though is not knowing what to do, It’s the excitement in knowing that its not that far away and the journey has already begun- finally! I’m doing this thing! I’m seriously impatient and wound-up and I want to be the end product I see in my head NOW! However, I cannot forget that everything must have a foundation! There is no point hanging up my boots when I feel overwhelmed or frustrated or because life happens. The thing about life is that it is ALWAYS happening.

I am learning to be patient with the journey and allow things to mature as they should. Its like a mother who gives birth too early, the baby wont be as well formed as if it had taken the time to mature. So when those stumbling blocks rear their ugly heads remember to use the lesson as a cornerstone of strength and give yourself the opportunity to see your dream come to fruition in its time. Don’t rush it, but take the time to learn, grow and mature. Just because something may not be working out now, doesn’t mean that your dream is over, or it’s time to hang it on the shelf. Dreams don’t go away, I promise. They just niggle at you and annoy you until you do something about them!

Be wise and don’t compromise: I know what it takes to tell my story but I don’t know everything. I have spent the last 25 years or so running from the pain of my past. In 2014 I sat down and started writing a book, because I felt it was the best way to confront my fears and start my journey to breaking the silence and being a voice for other people. (I am working on the final stages now) I have done a lot of healing! However; I have known since I was in my early 20’s what I was meant to do. I just got scared. I allowed other people’s opinions, feelings and thoughts enter my mind. I allowed my own voice of destruction to tell me, ‘I’m not ready’, ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘people will laugh at you…’ The truth is, when your passionate about something- it shows. When you are authentic and real; it shows. People respect the truth. The naysayers will always be naysayers, but they are few and far between.

It’s okay to be on a journey. Even better when you can learn a lesson from something that has taken you from your path. The one thing I have learnt from adversity, is if you are working towards a goal and you fall off the bandwagon be wise. Allow yourself time to learn the lesson, but compromising your passion and goal causes resentment, anger and frustration. That could be toward someone close to you or yourself. It eats away at you because there is a part of you which knows you are not where you should be. This frustration breeds resentment and you lose sight of who you are as a person, what you believe and your purpose. Sometimes it happens before you even know and others happen out of coping and life. I have fallen trap to almost take on someone else’s identity whether that be trying to keep the peace or make that other person happy. Or you try to hold an image that is not you, in order to protect the real you from getting hurt. Hold on to who you are, hold your own image and be proud of who YOU are. You simply sell yourself short by compromising your passion and purpose for someone else, or something else.

Do your absolute best not to get caught where you don’t belong! Own your why, be bold and step into your yes. A journey is called a journey for a reason. Its an adventure full of ups, downs and merry go rounds. If I can encourage you to look at this adversity like an adventure and explore the lessons, you will learn so much about yourself not only as a person, but the strength of your character, depth of your personality and absolute fortitude you possess and will develop as you undertake the journey. I have learnt all of this is part of stepping into your YES and learning to fly with your WHY.

Much love, Kel  xo

CS lewis

 

#DontRush #EnjoyTheJourney #KellyHumphries

 

 

/by

Sign up to You Be You

An online community that celebrates diversity.

Find out more

Who is Kelly Humphries?

Kelly Humphries is a survivor of child sexual abuse, a law enforcement officer, ambassador, author, and advocate. Kel is extremely passionate about breaking cycles of abuse through multiple platforms. Learn more

Fishing girl transparent

© Copyright - Kelly Humphries Created by the team at Great Humans | Privacy matters. We never share your details with anyone. For more info visit our privacy policy.