Happy Holidays and best wishes

merry-christmas

As Christmas dawns on the horizon- and is already upon us I remember the sweet innocence of those twinkling lights, the star on the tree and how we rocked along to Disney’s Christmas Carols – singing our hearts out like the sweet little birds that we were as kids- or maybe not so sweet!

While we innocently waited for Santa to come and bring his sack full of toys, with absolute wonderment and joy and we revelled in the moments of true connection and love, as life waged its war with time we became like the crinkles in the corner of our eyes. Lost in time.

We pitter patted around and put cookies and milk out for Santa, carrots for the reindeer… and we would be in bed early because, ‘He see’s you when your sleeping- and knows when your awake.’ So quickly and seeded with anticipation we would wait for the first one to wake up on Christmas morning… and the screaming and excitement would begin.

I cry as I write this, because I realise what I have missed and what I mourn… What my heart aches for and what life does to us if we don’t keep things in check. As a survivor of Sexual abuse, I have learnt this phenomenon of the ‘inner child.’

I might point out I thought this was all very cliché. But I come to realise very quickly that my innocence, that child was part of me and still is. We all have the memories of our youth that shape and mould us. We all still have that beautiful innocence and joy of children within us- we just forget it is there when life and adversity rears its head and we are forced to act like adults.

I remember how much fun I had at Christmas, and yet the dark sadness of what lay beneath and what was happening would see the simple joys fade like a moment of sunshine flittering in and out behind dark clouds. I was not like the other kids.

My little girl was stolen from me by my Uncle; just like joy may be stolen from you, through situation or circumstance, or maybe just pain… I lost her. I lost her sweet song and her dance in the pain of my innocence lost. My #UnscathedBeauty: all that I am, all that I was meant to be. My laughter and smiles- where did that unbridled laughter go?

It became tinged with deceit. That’s where it went. It become chained by fear and lost in the feeling that no place was safe, and the world was scary. I had to grow up, just so I could live.

Maybe you had to grow up too…really fast. Maybe you are holding on for all you feel you are worth. Perhaps you feel that have no more strength. No time. No money. Perhaps you have forgotten the beautiful wonderful things in this life Maybe your little inner child gone into hiding and you don’t know where they went.

img_6641That’s ok- I only just found her myself skipping around the Christmas tree and singing Christmas carols.

Do the things that make you smile! Build a cubby house or do a colouring in picture. Turn the sprinkler on, run underneath it and laugh like you don’t care. Lick the bowl when you make your next cake and let it smear all over your face…
Look at the people around you and take joy in the simplicity.

It’s is not about things and stuff… They won’t matter later. Love matters and #connectionmatters. Take time to connect with people. Connection creates healing.

So, from my family to yours have an incredible, simple, connected and loving Christmas, filled with innocence, joy and uninhibited laughter!

Much Love- Kel xo

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Your Unscathed Beauty is everything you are, and everything that you are meant to be.

You are not your past. You are not your pain. You are more than what you see in your physical self. You are more than the voices you hear about who you are. You are more than a label, or a passing phase.

You matter. You are designed for a purpose and that is why you are unique.

There is nothing that compares to the #human spirit. Your spirit. The will to survive, the courage and strength it takes to face your deepest of fears.
Your #UnscathedBeauty lives in you and beckons to you to come out and reveal yourself to the world. The light inside you, which can shine brighter than you have ever dreamed. It is that thing in you that aches, screams and eats at you. It doesn’t let you rest because it is your call; your #destiny.

It is also who you choose to become when the world throws ‘life’ at you. It is what you hold on to when times get hard, as they do in life. Let it be the light of the beauty in you that leads you, not the dark that deceives you.

Your Unscathed Beauty is all that you can be- and you own it. It is yours and no person or situation can take it from you.

Hold onto it, nurture it and then- Unleash it!

#KellyHumphries #Author #Speaker #JohnMaxwellTeam

 

 

There is not one quote by Kelly

There is not oneIt started when I was a teen…a broken and rejected soul who fought make sense of the world. My ideal was a figment of my own imagination, and imagination was utilised to make sense of a distorted reality. Somewhere in the void and the darkness, I believed that there was a reason for what was happening, and had been happening since I was just a little girl. There had to be a purpose for why I was being sexually abused by my uncle. I made excuses, I hid, I was brave and held my own to protect my secret. Our secret.

I aimed for perfection, in favour of rejection.

I mourned innocence, in favour of reverence and significance.

I battled my pride in the tears that were my friend in the night.

I made it better by helping other people, encouraging and doing what I could to make the world a better place than I knew it to be.

One day… I would help girls and boys like me. One day, people would know and I would make a difference. Fear was my friend, because when I was afraid, I knew I was still okay, and I could feel something. Fear was also my enemy because that vision of helping other people has eaten at me for too long, and kept me bound in a shadow of who I could be. I am not sorry. Why? Because I am becoming the best version of who I am, and I have needed to undertake this journey in order to heal and get myself into a position to do this.

I am ready now; thank you for waiting for me!

When I was happy, which was the most part of my childhood, I held on to it. I loved the bush, I loved the smell of mum’s cooking and I loved being an athlete. I was a good athlete. I wanted to be an Olympian and I held tight to that dream… That dream saved me. That dream and the love and blessings of the people around me have grounded me and reminded me of what is important and who I am.

What is ‘Unscathed Beauty’ and what does it mean to unleash it? 

It is your heart and your soul.

It is your passion and your vision.

It is your freedom and your hope.

It is your strength and your value.

It is who you were made to be; your dreams spoken, and unspoken.

It is you … and it is me. It is every person who has ever been in a dark place and felt brokenness, dismay, shame or guilt just to name a few.

It is for anyone who has faced adversity and still struggles to find their identity, especially in this chaotic world. Maybe you have been able to rise above that. Maybe you have been able to conquer your darkness. Or maybe you are like me and darkness comes every now and then and you are still learning how to claw your way out. The truth is, there is never a reason for child abuse, but I can turn my circumstances into a cornerstone of strength. I can choose now to make a difference. See I never knew, and he never said… it was a selfish ambition which did not belong to me, but to my perpetrator.

You see, Unscathed Beauty is all that you are, and that which you fight for. It is that thing that you hold onto when there seems to be nothing left within you. It is how you survive.

It is the beauty and the joy that is innately you that no predator, paedophile, abuser or set of adverse circumstances can touch. No person can take it, and no person can make it. It is yours; it is your gift to the world, and it is absolutely amazing and beautiful. It is your Unscathed Beauty.

It is also the title of my book. It is part of my journey, but not all. It has taken some time to answer the challenge of my teens… but I am here now. How? Well I have held onto hope and love. I grasped hold of who I am, and my Unscathed Beauty – now I am unleashing it. I am walking in the freedom of who I am and learning, every day, just how bold I can be.

Walking with Wendywhat can I say…?

I met Wendy just over 18 months ago at a public event where she spoke very passionately about her work. She moved something in my spirit and there was a connection. We both knew there was a reason for the connection. No words were spoken directly to each other, but there was a subtle shift and if I weren’t listening to my heart I would have missed it. There didn’t need to be any words, but I believe we have been led to work together and I am grateful to the many prayers and support I have received to get to this point so far. I am supported on this journey, and blessed and that is why I know Unscathed Beauty will be an incredible piece of work- perhaps my best achievement yet. Wendy Millgate
has the words… (Wendy & Words) and Wendy is now my editor.

We stayed in contact through emails and social media, but we were not able to catch up until Friday 3rd May 2016. While I shared my words and my heart for my book with Wendy, nibbled on copious amounts of chocolate and drank lots of tea, I also cried over my heart to change this space for women and men, and those who are struggling to overcome adversity based on childhood experiences. Wendy listened.

Unscathed Beauty is the first of many books that I will write. Someone once said to me, ‘…. as if you will ever write a book.’ Well I have now – and I could say a few things to that someone… but maybe I should thank them. When someone says I can’t, I say, ‘I can so!’

I finished my final draft of Unscathed Beauty a few months ago, and it has come together nicely. Now it is sitting in the capable hands of Wendy who will dissect it and pull it apart, so I can bring you the best version of Unscathed Beauty that I can.

Together with my friends, family and you, we will set about on a road to change how we view the #CyclesOfSilence that perpetuate our homes and communities. We will make changes, we will shine a light in a really dark space, and we will bring hope and healing to people that need restoration.

Together we will unleash our #UnscathedBeauty and help others find theirs.

Screen Shot 2016-07-14 at 5.52.45 PM

There is not one quote by Kelly

There is not one

It started when I was a teen…a broken and rejected soul who fought make sense of the world. My ideal was a figment of my own imagination, and imagination was utilised to make sense of a distorted reality. Somewhere in the void and the darkness, I believed that there was a reason for what was happening, and had been happening since I was just a little girl. There had to be a purpose for why I was being sexually abused by my uncle. I made excuses, I hid, I was brave and held my own to protect my secret. Our secret.

 

I aimed for perfection, in favour of rejection.

I mourned innocence, in favour of reverence and significance.

I battled my pride in the tears that were my friend in the night.

I made it better by helping other people, encouraging and doing what I could to make the world a better place than I knew it to be.

One day… I would help girls and boys like me. One day, people would know and I would make a difference. Fear was my friend, because when I was afraid, I knew I was still okay, and I could feel something. Fear was also my enemy because that vision of helping other people has eaten at me for too long, and kept me bound in a shadow of who I could be. I am not sorry. Why? Because I am becoming the best version of who I am, and I have needed to undertake this journey in order to heal and get myself into a position to do this.

I am ready now; thank you for waiting for me!

When I was happy, which was the most part of my childhood, I held on to it. I loved the bush, I loved the smell of mum’s cooking and I loved being an athlete. I was a good athlete. I wanted to be an Olympian and I held tight to that dream… That dream saved me. That dream and the love and blessings of the people around me have grounded me and reminded me of what is important and who I am.

What is ‘Unscathed Beauty’ and what does it mean to unleash it?

It is your heart and your soul.

It is your passion and your vision.

It is your freedom and your hope.

It is your strength and your value.

It is who you were made to be; your dreams spoken, and unspoken.

It is you … and it is me. It is every person who has ever been in a dark place and felt brokenness, dismay, shame or guilt just to name a few.

It is for anyone who has faced adversity and still struggles to find their identity, especially in this chaotic world. Maybe you have been able to rise above that. Maybe you have been able to conquer your darkness. Or maybe you are like me and darkness comes every now and then and you are still learning how to claw your way out. The truth is, there is never a reason for child abuse, but I can turn my circumstances into a cornerstone of strength. I can choose now to make a difference. See I never knew, and he never said… it was a selfish ambition which did not belong to me, but to my perpetrator.

You see, Unscathed Beauty is all that you are, and that which you fight for. It is that thing that you hold onto when there seems to be nothing left within you. It is how you survive.

It is the beauty and the joy that is innately you that no predator, paedophile, abuser or set of adverse circumstances can touch. No person can take it, and no person can make it. It is yours; it is your gift to the world, and it is absolutely amazing and beautiful. It is your Unscathed Beauty.

It is also the title of my book. It is part of my journey, but not all. It has taken some time to answer the challenge of my teens… but I am here now. How? Well I have held onto hope and love. I grasped hold of who I am, and my Unscathed Beauty – now I am unleashing it. I am walking in the freedom of who I am and learning, every day, just how bold I can be.

Walking with Wendy, what can I say…?

I met Wendy just over 18 months ago at a public event where she spoke very passionately about her work. She moved something in my spirit and there was a connection. We both knew there was a reason for the connection. No words were spoken directly to each other, but there was a subtle shift and if I weren’t listening to my heart I would have missed it. There didn’t need to be any words, but I believe we have been led to work together and I am grateful to the many prayers and support I have received to get to this point so far. I am supported on this journey, and blessed and that is why I know Unscathed Beauty will be an incredible piece of work- perhaps my best achievement yet. Wendy Millgate
has the words… (Wendy & Words) and Wendy is now my editor.

We stayed in contact through emails and social media, but we were not able to catch up until Friday 3rd May 2016. While I shared my words and my heart for my book with Wendy, nibbled on copious amounts of chocolate and drank lots of tea, I also cried over my heart to change this space for women and men, and those who are struggling to overcome adversity based on childhood experiences. Wendy listened.

Unscathed Beauty is the first of many books that I will write. Someone once said to me, ‘…. as if you will ever write a book.’ Well I have now – and I could say a few things to that someone… but maybe I should thank them. When someone says I can’t, I say, ‘I can so!’

I finished my final draft of Unscathed Beauty a few months ago, and it has come together nicely. Now it is sitting in the capable hands of Wendy who will dissect it and pull it apart, so I can bring you the best version of Unscathed Beauty that I can.

Together with my friends, family and you, we will set about on a road to change how we view the #CyclesOfSilence that perpetuate our homes and communities. We will make changes, we will shine a light in a really dark space, and we will bring hope and healing to people that need restoration.

Together we will unleash our #UnscathedBeauty and help others find theirs.

Screen Shot 2016-07-14 at 5.52.45 PM

kelly's image by Christian Del Rosario

It’s time to unleash the beast. The time is now! It is time to step up and step out. This weekend I will travel to Sydney with my partner to the #SpeakersInstitute, Sydney to get bolder, stronger and gain more skills to bring my message to Australia and the world. In a three-day intensive boot-camp I will let the lion inside me loose and I will roar or perhaps squeal…

I have been speaking for a few months now about my heart to change the cycles of abuse which perpetuate our society. To bring to light what happens in the journey of someone who has experienced abuse and the long-term effects that a person will deal with because of childhood trauma.

by Christian Del Rosario

John Maxwell Team event 2014©AttreoStudio All rights reserved 2014 www.ChristianDelRosario.com

It is time to start talking, to give people permission to have a conversation that sometimes remains as closed and hidden as the soul of the person who bears the secret.  The cries of little ones in dark corners and right under our noses go unanswered across the entire globe. Even right here in our unassuming tiny pocket of Australia, there are more secrets than many of us would think or believe. As the cycle continues and the culture of silence goes on, it is time to not just say the words, but to acknowledge the pain behind the problem and face it head on.

In a study conducted by the Australian Institute of Criminology; 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men will experience some kind of sexual abuse before the age of 18 years. This is an epidemic and disease that must be eradicated and these figures are unacceptable. We must take a stand together and collectively become the answer. Let’s make a change. Let’s start talking about the hard stuff. Let us encourage conversations which are going to set people free, not cage people’s dreams. Let us get brave together. We must face our fears and hold on to those things that make us beautiful and unique. That is our courage and our strength.  That is our #UnscathedBeauty.

Much Love Kel XO

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Agnes Water

It appears to me that time seems to go faster every year. New years resolutions become the same resolutions that you have the year before and sometimes the small steps to achieve goals just never seem big enough or; maybe they are and that is a great thing if you have your happiness and you are jammin’ on all things life. It seems to me that lately I have more wrinkles around my eyes every time I look in the mirror and that is enough to tell me that life is short, so… wear sunscreen and of course, play hard!

I have often struggled to move forward despite appearing like I am achieving things and I still don’t always feel like I am actually getting anywhere. Sometimes it seems like the old ‘stuff’ in the closet wants to just eat you up and devour you where you stand, that is of course if you can stand at all. Maybe its just that you are just plain old worn out. Life is hard, let’s face it. The world is crazy and chaotic. Sometimes, all you have time and energy for is to deal with today, and what’s happening around you, which is totally fine too. Living in the moment is an art, and to appreciate those moments in life is crucial. Time can be consuming when there are more things to do in a day than there are hours.

We must make time to look forward… to set goals, to make plans all the while appreciating and living in the moment. It’s easy to revert to old habits of coping, of masking and covering the pain rather than to face your fears and allow yourself the opportunity to actually move forward. Living in the moment and being consumed by the moments are two different things. Choose not to be consumed by the moments but live them!

I was reminded recently just how small we are, as I look over the expanse of the great ocean, I know I am but a speck on the horizon… a grain of sand… a cork bobbing on a sea of turbulence, or calm, or sometimes drowning as waves crash over you… it’s easy to feel small; to feel like you don’t matter. Sometimes allowing life and the things of the world to consume you is just another excuse or reason for that dream you have to slip past you- I have done this time and time again. Why? Honestly, I just never felt truly worthy of success, I have had to work very hard on myself to understand the value I have and what I can offer to others.

AgnesWater3.jpg

(Agnes Waters- Near my Home Town-My own Image (Kelly Humphries Photography))

It is easy to just sometimes ignore the niggling inside you to pursue that passion, that ‘thing’ that calls you. It is not hard to set it aside in favour of old patterns, old habits and old ways of thinking, because a new way can seem overwhelming, hard, and just too difficult in the world where you may feel like you are that cork on the sea of your own fear…

I know it sounds a bit gloomy, but what you have to realise is that in your own special uniqueness, you are the only person who has your dream, and can do it your own unique way. You are only as big as your thinking allows you to be. If you think you are small and insignificant, then you will be. If you believe that you can do something to change the world, then you will.

Just because you are small, does not mean  that you don’t have great potential, or the ability to make great change in a world that is screaming for great leaders. Even the smallest people can make the biggest difference! You only have to look at those who are humble, and lived their passion to know that one person can indeed change the world. I look at incredible female leaders like Mother Teresa (who was a very tiny woman at 5ft), she said, “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” She would ultimately be the single most famous woman in the world- besides Oprah Winfrey. Let me ask you- what is the ripple that you want to create?

I have always loved Joan of Arc, a Martyr, Saint and Military leader famous for leading the French to Victory in a 100 year war in the 14th century, she said, “I am not afraid, I was born to do this.” She was only 18 and rumoured to be just over 5ft tall, again very small, but big in heart and understood what she was born to do. A female leader in a time that was certainly not a time where women were seen as equals. So, I ask you; what were you born to do?

Is what you have planned for this year going to take you towards your goals, your dream and your passion? Are the people in your circle the kinds of people that will love and support you? Are your friends the kinds of friends that will stand by you and encourage you?

I am making a commitment to myself this year in 2016, and that is that I will not compromise on the vision I have in my heart to achieve the things that I believe are set before me. I have allowed others to compromise and I have compromised myself with poor thinking, and letting the negative thoughts of ‘not being big enough’, ‘feeling insignificant and incapable’, ‘not good enough’, to rob me from what I know I was born to do. What are you not willing to compromise?

Too many fall short of their potential because they allow their thinking and the voices of doubt to steal their passion for what they believe they are called to do. I know I have wavered many times, because I have allowed those voices to break my determination and vision. Do not allow old thinking and the chaos of the world to take you away from what you are called to do. One person can make a huge difference. What legacy do you want to leave? Who are you going to be? How are you going to create a ripple effect? Do the people in your life encourage and lift you up?

Do yourself a favour this year… don’t compromise on your dreams. Don’t give in to your fears. Understand that you were born for more! Know your importance, whether the steps you take are tiny, or you are taking great leaps towards a better and greater you; just keep taking steps. Do not allow your thinking to rob you from the joy of the pursuit towards your true self and achieving your dreams.

Bless you and your family this year as you embrace 2016. Together, let’s create lots of powerful positive ripples across the world.

Much Love! xo Kel

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(Hot Mud Pools of New Zealand- I would love to believe that the ripples I create would be ripples that would turn into great waves, and leave a lasting impression. Photograph- Kelly Humphries Photography)

 

1

Acting Commissioner Brett Pointing, Hetty Johnston, Kelly Humphries, Mayor Pam Parker, Chief Superintendant Martin Mickelson.

Walk the Talk Soroptimist Event, Beenleigh, 28th of November, 2015.

What an incredible day I had yesterday, the 28th day of November, 2015. A day of celebration and advocation. That is, the celebration of community coming together to take a stand against Domestic and Family Violence, and Sexual Violence against women. As a women I believe its about celebrating our differences, and the beauty that is within each and everyone of us. I felt so empowered as I was reminded by my friend Hetty Johnston this week that I am on a journey and taking back my power. So I celebrate the joy of standing up for myself,  alongside some incredible people who represent strength and courage in our community. This week has been incredibly empowering for me as someone who has struggled through sexual abuse. When I say struggled, I mean I have had to work incredibly hard to peel the layers off and understand that I was born for more. That I am worthy of more. I felt a stirring in my heart and a rising up of my spirit as I shared that with the crowd at Beenleigh #Walkthetalk event. I had women and men share their embraces and some with tears in their eyes giving me encouragement. I had some share their stories and I am reminded just how fortunate I am. The prevalence of Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse is beyond reason and I know the journey is a long one to reduce the stigma of reporting offences like sexual abuse, sexual violence and domestic violence. Sexual Violence and Abuse, and Domestic Violence is led in the statistics primarily by women,  but we cannot overlook for a second that these stats are represented by both genders, same sex couples and the result of sexual violence, abuse of any kind affects everyone. I believe victory can only occur with collaboration.

I was incredibly humbled to share the platform with Acting Commissioner Brett Pointing, Mayor Pam Parker, Councillor Steve Swenson, and Adrienne Cremin (representing Shannon Fentiman) among others. Incredible support was shown by our Logan Councillors standing up and advocating for Not Now Not Ever.

#Soroptimist #SexualViolence #walkthetalk #SexualAbuse #Bravehearts #QLDPolice

Kelly Humphries and Hetty Johnston

imageWhat an amazing night last night was! I was so priveledged to speak to the Incredible Soroptimist International women of Beenleigh, share my journey and give some tips for learning how to overcome. Among many hugs and blessings I felt completely among friends and was honoured with the company and support of the amazing Hetty Johnston. Hetty is in the midst of an electoral campaign and still managed to find time to support me. A woman of integrity and certainly an incredible female leader. I learnt not to judge myself too harshly last night; the women I was able to speak to each took something different from what we were able to share. There were nods of affirmation and one lady said “you’re right… I do have a dream in my pocket, and now I’m going to out and get it…” She was probably about 65 or so… I do hope she chases her dream, and it just shows that no matter how old you are, daring to dream is an enlivening experience which is only limited by you ability to overcome your fears.

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The lovely Hetty Johnston who was able to attend and showed her support. Thankyou Hetty! 

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First Speaking Engagement, Soroptimist International Dinner Event, November 24th, Beenleigh Sports Club

Welcome to my blog! It will take me a while to get started and sort out how this all works, but I am excited to start on this journey of self-discovery, and empowering others to be the best they can be. This will take the form of training and speaking on topics such as leadership, resilience, personal development and learning how to overcome. In the last 18 months as I have started to write my book (overcoming sexual abuse) and I have peeled off layer after layer in a journey of healing, which is now resulted in me being able to face my fears and finally answer this call. My book is still going to be some time away as I finish it off and navigate the publishing space, but I am stepping up as a speaker to start with around the issue of sexual abuse and overcoming fear. I already have a number of speaking engagements booked in to start this crazy journey and I know that I am beyond blessed.

Please make sure you ‘like’ my facebook page, and share it https://www.facebook.com/KellyHumphriesSpeaker.

The message I will send I hope will echo around the world. I also have this blog where you can put your email address in and get email notifications and I can keep you up to date with events, training, news and information. I simply cannot do this journey alone and so to my friends, family and community I just want to say thankyou for your support. See you soon xo