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Kelly speaking in an event

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It’s been a few weeks since I hit the platform at the Australian Speakers Institute with #SamCawthorn and his team. In fact; time has flown. Life has really gotten away from me in the last couple of weeks and I wanted to just recap an incredible immersive weekend which was spent with amazing people who both inspired and uplifted me.

When I say immersive, the alarm went off at 3am on the morning of the 13th of May, 2016 and we drove to the airport. That day didn’t finish until late Sunday afternoon. I was deliriously tired, but super encouraged through being able to share my story with other speakers and draw strength from each one. I was blessed to share in their tears, their vulnerability and connect with amazing individuals who have a heart to change the world in their own significant ways. I was fortunate to share this experience with my partner and no doubt we traversed our own unique individual journeys and shared in the highs and lows of this experience together.

I was humbled and touched by these incredible world changers I shared a speaking platform with- which took me on a rollercoaster of emotion; that is challenging my own heart and hearing theirs. I was deeply confronted at one point over those three days, in fact it nearly saw me run out the door with my emotions stretching me almost further than I have been. This may be something that I share at a later point, but it involves confronting the biggest demon in my closet. Sometimes I feel like forgiveness is the greatest battle I face, there is freedom in forgiveness, but there is also many layers to how this looks and it is not always black and white. I had to get real with myself, very real.

I felt like a rubber band being held at the point before it snaps… seems like the place I find myself more often than not as I face each challenge on this journey to sharing my heart and story with the world. It is the place where I lose control and have to trust in the ‘big fella’ in a leap of faith seeing me cross from the known, to the unknown. The seen, to the unseen. I know this journey is not mine alone, but his.

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With this incredible opportunity I have been able to tweak and refine my message and consider things I had not thought about when it comes to the challenge of sharing my personal journey with the world and subsequently breaking these cycles of silence. I often feel that I am nothing, and wonder in awe at how far I have walked on my journey, and while it has taken everything in me, I am strong and I am ready to take on the world.

It never ceases to amaze me the power of words and the ability to have a strong conviction One thing is certain, Sexual Abuse is not confined by status or privilege, it does not have a stereotype, and behind some of the strongest figures and leaders is someone who has learnt to fight, and overcome. Thankyou to those who felt safe to disclose and share their story with me even if you have never told anyone- I am humbled and I know that our paths will cross again on this journey to #ChangeTheWorld

So, what did I learn? I saw a map and was given insight into the path I am moving along. I learnt that I can do this, and no matter who I share my story and whatever audience I am in, there is someone who is hiding their secret, someone who is afraid, someone who needed to hear that they are loved and valued no matter their past. I could continue to write pages and pages about what I learnt…. But what I feel the greatest thing I gained from attending this 3 day speakers boot-camp is a unique insight and perspective.

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What did I see? I saw hope. I saw change and I saw myself challenged in ways I didn’t expect. Some good things and some not so good, but with each battle comes a step to getting stronger on the journey to becoming an authority in this area. In my quiet times and reflection I saw faces from my past and the demons I still need to battle to be able to withstand the journey… I am closer now than I ever was.

What did I feel? I felt love, and compassion. Understanding and empowerment. Support and encouragement, and I felt tired! But the kind of tired when you know that you have experienced a transformation. I felt supported by people I had barely met who I would now consider to be close friends and confidants.

What now…? Just you wait and see..! I am taking back my power and building my platform. Help me get the message out there. We must break these #cyclesofsilence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Sticks and Stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me…right? Well, we now know this is a farce; and while we can all look tough on the outside, what’s happening on the inside sometimes seems just about as crazy as the world we live in. I have often found that despite my best efforts to
‘figure myself out,’ I have failed at times and revelation and understanding can take way too long… What is it about life that see’s us go through so many up’s and downs, rollercoasters, roundabouts, and repetitive cycles?

Why do feel like we are stuck sometimes and really can’t find our way out of the murky waters of life? I believe and I always have, that the power in whether we move forward in life is ultimately up to us. To you and me to be strong and make decisions that move us forward in the direction or our goals. Not to let others come along and speak negatively in our life, or poorly influence us, or distract us from what is important.

It is a very difficult journey on your own, and as a childhood survivor of sexual abuse, I know only too well what it feels like to be alone in the middle of a struggle. What I have learnt is that it is much easier to reach out and be vulnerable for a moment to enable you to be strong for a lifetime. You can give all the self-talk and positive affirmation you like, but the journey is much easier when we surround ourselves with people who help to push us in the right direction and fuel our dreams, ignite our passion, share our values and absolutely love us unconditionally. Sometimes that is hard to find, but we have to make a decision to be brave, and seek out the people who will support and love us, and help us grow positively in this journey of life. This includes people who will undoubtedly speak positively into your life.

It turns out that there is some science behind this positive affirmation thing and I can say with 100% certainty the language I speak about myself and allow others to speak into my life really does make a huge difference to my level of success, and my ability to overcome in any situation.

Take this for example; we all know that the human body is made up of mostly water; in fact according to Dr Jeffrey UTZ, a Neuroscientist in Paediatrics from Allegheny University; babies have the most water percentage in their bodies at around 78%. This changes as the child grows to around 60% in adult hood.

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Dr Masaru Emoto Water Crystal – a happy one!

While I am no scientist and certainly no neuroscientist;  the research of Dr Masaru Emoto provides a great metaphor for the power of positive speaking and affirmation. Dr Emoto, a Japanese author, researcher and entrepreneur, who delved into the research of Water, Consciousness and Intent. He believes that water is the blueprint for humanity and has studied how the water structure changes depending on the energy it is given i.e. music, love, gratitude, positive affirmation and conversely feelings of hate, anger and the like. Watch some of Dr Emoto’s water research here.

The water given the love, gratitude and positive affirmation stayed clear, and when being examined produced beautiful crystalline structures, and the water given the negativity and hate produced deformed and dark crystalline structures. The same is true for a rice experiment which he conducted in the same way,
Dr Emoto’s Rice Study  where the rice given the love, and positive energy was shown to stay almost normal, while the ‘hate’ rice turns dark and quite frankly, rather gross.

While there is undoubtedly much praise for Dr Emoto’s research, there are also some sceptics. It makes a lot of sense to me though when we consider how much water makes up our being, and what we put into our body, how we speak to ourselves and let others speak to us, can really change how we look and feel.

Regardless, it is clear that when we speak love, joy and happiness into someone’s life, and tell ourselves things that will improve us, grow us and make us shine, then we will achieve success and radiate while doing it.

Those who are spoken poorly of; speak poorly to themselves, who are abused, hated and rejected, those who put chemicals, drugs and pollutants through their body; they may look good in the beginning, but eventually, the darkness and the distorted nature of that negativity will destroy and darken the spirit and the mind.

Life will throw us off track at times and it may be hard to connect with those who are passionate about the same things as you. You may not even know what it is you are passionate about, but when you spend time with people who make you feel good about who you are, and what you like, you will probably find your passion will find you.

If you are not feeling so crash hot and the world seems to be dragging you down, have a look at what you are putting into your body. Ask yourself; have I given myself some love today? How can I connect with people like me? Don’t think you are alone ever, there are thousands of ways to connect with people- just start putting it out there and talking to people and you will find your answers.

There is value in looking after you, and loving and supporting other people. Look after your body, and your mind, and you will shine!

Much Love, Kel xo

Sharing my story, IWD March 11th

International Women’s Day Celebrations- 2016 

I was so privileged this past week celebrating International Women’s Day with so many of my colleagues and friends across the Queensland Police and Emergency Services. What an incredible week it has been. I have been surrounded by phenomenal women (and men) with amazing stories that have both inspired, bought joy, hope and reminded me what is important in my own life, and it is only the beginning. In spreading my own message, and sharing my story, I only seem to find meaningful and wonderful connection, love, friendship and support. This was certainly the case at this years Crime Stoppers International (Pine Rivers) High Tea and International Women’s Day event on the 11th of March at Kallangur. I was so grateful to come and share my journey at this lovely event.

This week has brought me to my knees, I have cried, I have laughed, and I have even held others in my arms while they cried. I am constantly learning from other peoples journeys, their hopes, and it all comes down to one thing. LOVE. It’s a love I cannot describe because it surpasses anything I fully understand.  I can only say that it is and always has been bigger than me or anything I can do in my own strength. All I know is to keep walking, even when I can’t see where the next step falls. That is faith. When you align your heart with your head, beautiful things happen even when you are scared, when you feel alone, or if you feel unloveable, broken or like you are failing. You are never alone.

For me, it is an answer to a long awaited prayer, and all I really needed to do was say no to my fear. I have struggled more than anything in the last few months to harness my courage and strength. I have much to do, but I know that with the incredible support and love I have received from all of you, my friends, family, and colleagues, I cannot fail. I even have the support of the Queensland Police Service and for that I am grateful and so very humbled. I attended the International Women’s Day Event at the Pullman hotel, on the 08th of March and was Awarded a award for Courage, which I did not expect, or do I feel worthy. But I am humbled that the QPS is behind me in this journey. International Women’s Day Awards

I have many messages, and I do talk as openly as I am able to about how I have overcome Sexual Abuse; and there are many reasons for this which i will share in a later blog for you, but essentially it comes down to this. Your past does not define who you are, or who you become. No one has the power to take your voice. You are made with a purpose, a passion and you are incredibly unique. There is nothing that can stop you from achieving the desires of your heart. “It is time, to conquer your fear and unleash your Unscathed Beauty”

Thank you for coming on this journey with me. Thank-you for sharing your heart with me and allowing me to speak to yours. It is only when we work together can we really affect change, and I can’t do it alone. Bless you my friends.

Much Love, Kel.

 

 

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It appears to me that time seems to go faster every year. New years resolutions become the same resolutions that you have the year before and sometimes the small steps to achieve goals just never seem big enough or; maybe they are and that is a great thing if you have your happiness and you are jammin’ on all things life. It seems to me that lately I have more wrinkles around my eyes every time I look in the mirror and that is enough to tell me that life is short, so… wear sunscreen and of course, play hard!

I have often struggled to move forward despite appearing like I am achieving things and I still don’t always feel like I am actually getting anywhere. Sometimes it seems like the old ‘stuff’ in the closet wants to just eat you up and devour you where you stand, that is of course if you can stand at all. Maybe its just that you are just plain old worn out. Life is hard, let’s face it. The world is crazy and chaotic. Sometimes, all you have time and energy for is to deal with today, and what’s happening around you, which is totally fine too. Living in the moment is an art, and to appreciate those moments in life is crucial. Time can be consuming when there are more things to do in a day than there are hours.

We must make time to look forward… to set goals, to make plans all the while appreciating and living in the moment. It’s easy to revert to old habits of coping, of masking and covering the pain rather than to face your fears and allow yourself the opportunity to actually move forward. Living in the moment and being consumed by the moments are two different things. Choose not to be consumed by the moments but live them!

I was reminded recently just how small we are, as I look over the expanse of the great ocean, I know I am but a speck on the horizon… a grain of sand… a cork bobbing on a sea of turbulence, or calm, or sometimes drowning as waves crash over you… it’s easy to feel small; to feel like you don’t matter. Sometimes allowing life and the things of the world to consume you is just another excuse or reason for that dream you have to slip past you- I have done this time and time again. Why? Honestly, I just never felt truly worthy of success, I have had to work very hard on myself to understand the value I have and what I can offer to others.

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(Agnes Waters- Near my Home Town-My own Image (Kelly Humphries Photography))

It is easy to just sometimes ignore the niggling inside you to pursue that passion, that ‘thing’ that calls you. It is not hard to set it aside in favour of old patterns, old habits and old ways of thinking, because a new way can seem overwhelming, hard, and just too difficult in the world where you may feel like you are that cork on the sea of your own fear…

I know it sounds a bit gloomy, but what you have to realise is that in your own special uniqueness, you are the only person who has your dream, and can do it your own unique way. You are only as big as your thinking allows you to be. If you think you are small and insignificant, then you will be. If you believe that you can do something to change the world, then you will.

Just because you are small, does not mean  that you don’t have great potential, or the ability to make great change in a world that is screaming for great leaders. Even the smallest people can make the biggest difference! You only have to look at those who are humble, and lived their passion to know that one person can indeed change the world. I look at incredible female leaders like Mother Teresa (who was a very tiny woman at 5ft), she said, “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” She would ultimately be the single most famous woman in the world- besides Oprah Winfrey. Let me ask you- what is the ripple that you want to create?

I have always loved Joan of Arc, a Martyr, Saint and Military leader famous for leading the French to Victory in a 100 year war in the 14th century, she said, “I am not afraid, I was born to do this.” She was only 18 and rumoured to be just over 5ft tall, again very small, but big in heart and understood what she was born to do. A female leader in a time that was certainly not a time where women were seen as equals. So, I ask you; what were you born to do?

Is what you have planned for this year going to take you towards your goals, your dream and your passion? Are the people in your circle the kinds of people that will love and support you? Are your friends the kinds of friends that will stand by you and encourage you?

I am making a commitment to myself this year in 2016, and that is that I will not compromise on the vision I have in my heart to achieve the things that I believe are set before me. I have allowed others to compromise and I have compromised myself with poor thinking, and letting the negative thoughts of ‘not being big enough’, ‘feeling insignificant and incapable’, ‘not good enough’, to rob me from what I know I was born to do. What are you not willing to compromise?

Too many fall short of their potential because they allow their thinking and the voices of doubt to steal their passion for what they believe they are called to do. I know I have wavered many times, because I have allowed those voices to break my determination and vision. Do not allow old thinking and the chaos of the world to take you away from what you are called to do. One person can make a huge difference. What legacy do you want to leave? Who are you going to be? How are you going to create a ripple effect? Do the people in your life encourage and lift you up?

Do yourself a favour this year… don’t compromise on your dreams. Don’t give in to your fears. Understand that you were born for more! Know your importance, whether the steps you take are tiny, or you are taking great leaps towards a better and greater you; just keep taking steps. Do not allow your thinking to rob you from the joy of the pursuit towards your true self and achieving your dreams.

Bless you and your family this year as you embrace 2016. Together, let’s create lots of powerful positive ripples across the world.

Much Love! xo Kel

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(Hot Mud Pools of New Zealand- I would love to believe that the ripples I create would be ripples that would turn into great waves, and leave a lasting impression. Photograph- Kelly Humphries Photography)