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KH-Manager

40 Lessons in 40 Years!

I HAVE A GIFT FOR YOU! 

40 fabulous lessons in life in no particular order. Why? Because it’s my 40th Birthday and I am reflecting on how I have survived, and how I have lived!

I have been through a great deal and I have learnt so much… and much more to come no doubt.

Thank you for all the wonderful birthday wishes so far!

I was very unhappy about turning 40. Like I got really sad- as if I can stop it lol.(Am I the only one who had a freak out at 40?)

I just feel like there is SO much to do and I have these expectations about what I feel I should  have accomplished by now… and still haven’t. So I have flipped my perspective.

I am grateful for everyone, every lesson and what I have achieved so far, SO there really isn’t anything to get sad about right?

There are other lessons too of the humorous kind I could write about too… like making sure you point the chisel away from you when chiselling… yeah that’s the kind of stuff I do. I have the scars to prove it!

I’ll save that blog for another day!

These are more about life- 40plus lessons for 40 years! My gift to you!

Which ones resonate with you?

  1. LEAD WITH LOVE! Always act with a heart of love in your conduct and attitude. The world will make a way. You will attract likeminded and compassionate people who will stand alongside you in life, in friendship, in love, in your drive and mission. In all things, lead first with love.
  2. Family is essential! Honour them. However or wherever you find them (blood or chosen) you need connection and love. Honour and respect them always. Even if they hurt you- you have a choice. You still have respect.
  3. You need safe spaces.  We all need a place to be ourselves. Where you can let your guard down and share your secrets. Cultivate safe spaces, and keep them safe for your safe people. You will build legacies, not just friendships.
  4. Your health is one of the most important things in life. Without your health, life is tough. It diminishes your capacity and steals your passion. (Also why family is essential)
  5. You are a vessel. If there are holes in the ship it sinks. Self-care is essential for longevity. If you want to do your thing, you can’t do it in a sinking ship. Honour your boundaries, honour yourself and what you need.
  6. First impressions last. Life is really busy, and people have a lot on their plate. Standing out means making sure you’re not forgotten- for the right reasons. Nothing solidifies that more than a first impression. (i.e. a great handshake)
  7. Consistency is key. People trust consistency. It breeds reliability. Be consistent and show up. Always.
  8. Kindness doesn’t cost anything. There is plenty to be upset about, but being kind is a choice. You can choose kindness over contempt.
  9. Be excellent always. You don’t have to be perfect. There is no such thing. But if you are trying, and work hard, give your best, go above and beyond – you will reap the rewards. Your reputation will precede you. You will be known because you seek the best in yourself and your work ethic.
  10. Grace is powerful – In all of its forms. But being courteous and polite will always bring favour. Have grace for yourself, and others.

  11. Persist Powerfully– Never Give up. It is how I survived, and how I continue. Persist Powerfully- with conviction, with decision, with fierceness. Like there is no plan B.
  12. You have a choice. Not easy, especially as a survivor, but standing up for yourself is powerful and it’s your right.  You have a choice in all things. whether you exercise the right to choice is up to you. Knowing you have one is another. You deserve a choice, and you can choose.
  13. Honour your boundaries– Let No mean No, and Yes mean Yes. Toxic people steal your joy. Invest in good people who love you and lift you, challenge and grow you. Compromising is great, but honour yourself, your boundaries and  your decisions.
  14. Honour your word to others- Integrity is key, and if your word can’t be trusted, neither can you.
  15. Honour your word to yourself– Lying to yourself only hides you from yourself.
  16. Let no person hold power over you– Life is short. I have for a long time allowed my past and my story to hold power over me because of the shame I felt. That shame belongs to the perpetrator.
  17. Pursue with passion– Is there another way? Whatever you do in life, do it with passion and purpose. If you can’t then it’s not your thing. Those who pursue the things that are not in their heart reap bitterness and resentment. It hurts everyone. Live your dreams. Your passion. Your purpose. Anything else is to deny your unique gift to this world.
  18. Embrace ALL of it. I have learnt to ALLOW myself to feel all of it. The hurt. The happiness, the shame, and grief and all of the emotions. I feel lots of things. It is all ok. I have had people try to tell me how I should feel, to shut it out, upshot away… Shutting it out, means shutting myself and everyone else out too. This is  your humanity. This is a gift. Feel all of it.
  19. We are all unique. Every person is different. The things that make us different are interesting and fun, and promotes innovation and diversity.
  20. We are not higher or lower than ANY human on this planet. This promotes humility- there is not ONE person above you, or below you. We are all equal. When you realise you are but one decision away from poverty, or your whole life changing you see how it all hangs in a delicate balance. Your significance is measured by the size of your heart.
  21. We are the same. We are unique, but we are human and ALL experience the same emotions and feelings- just sometimes in a different way. This is the nature of humanity.
  22. When life hands you lemons make cheesecake. Why not? Lemon cheesecake is delicious. You can’t change what happens in the world, only your place in it, your role, and you might as well eat cheesecake- right?
  23. You matter! Your voice matters. When you learn your value, the world takes on new meaning. We all matter and we all have a part to play.
  24. Honour your friendships, your community, your tribe. Treat your connections like family. Honour your boundaries, but those who you have a heart connection with a so valuable. You need them. They need you.
  25. NEVER go to bed angry. Anything can happen. Life can be given and taken so quickly. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Forgive quickly. Love fiercely. Give freely.  Don’t lose your love over Bitterness and resentment.
  26. You must honour the truth inside you OR it will eat away at you like a disease. The truth will and does eventually set you free. You have a story? You have a secret? I promise you, holding on to it is harder in the long run than keeping it held inside you. This goes for everything. Your identity, your past, your ideas, your rights and wrongs, morals and values.
  27. Let your words ALWAYS be loving and kind. I have heard so many regrets when people have lost loved ones tragically because they have fought. You can choose how you act. Let others choose their own path for that part is out of your control.
  28. Work Hard. The world owes you nothing, but hard work teaches you humility and patience. There is also something to be said about not being financially stressed. Being able to have what you need because you have learnt the value of hard work is a lesson on gratitude. You can’t always control the world around you but at least having the ability to support your tribe when things get hard, creates connection and community.
  29. Be Authentic. The world is full of fake people and it’s hard to find people you trust sometimes. Be a light. Be real. be the person who is reliable and trustworthy.
  30. Eat the cake. Enjoy life FFS. (In moderation) be happy, eat what you like, but do it in moderation. Do it with tribe and family.
  31. Take the time to learn about many things. Ask questions. I have lots of varied interests. It helps when you’re talking to people and you can connect in many circles. its a valuable tool.
  32. Meet people where they are at. We all have expectations of others, we all have thoughts and we all judge- that’s NOT what most people need. They want to be seen, loved and accepted exactly as they are and that is just fine. They think you don’t see them. Most people believe NO one can understand them or wants to. Be the person that allows people to be seen when they are with you.
  33. NEVER lose sight of the vision. I haven’t.  (Well I have tried not to) While it has taken a lifetime to get here, I am stepping into that vision I had at 12. Hold your image. Never forget what brings you joy and passion. Even if the path is wavering enjoy the journey and hold fast and persist powerfully.
  34. Be courageous. Be brave. It is hard to love after hurt. Hard to heal after harm. Hard to grow after grief and loss. But nothing is so hard as nothing. Be brave in your decisions. Push forward- be uncomfortable… every day. This is how you grow. This is how you heal. This is how you learn and unlearn.
  35. Be kind to yourself. We beat ourselves up so much. It only promotes self-loathing I promise you. Just be kind and compassionate towards yourself and others.  ALWAYS.
  36. It WILL be okay. It always seems so hard in the moment. The courage to hold on is hard. But you will ALWAYS get through it. You just have to decide and sometimes decide many times a day.
  37. Success is always about what you think it means. Life is ALL about perspective. What lens are you looking through? What are you comparing yourself to? Or Who? What is success today? Tomorrow? We are but a measure… of our own measures. How high are you setting the bar and whose bar are you setting?
  38. Are we there yet? We are always so impatient. On our phones, hiding from life. Rushing through life. WHAT ARE WE MISSING? What are you hiding from? When you are so BUSY, opportunities will come and go and you won’t see them. Life will come and go and you will miss it. PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN.
  39. Triggers are opportunities for triumph! We hide from what makes our heart race because it makes us uncomfortable. Living your best life means facing what ‘triggers’ us, learning ‘it’s’ lesson and then stepping into our growth.
  40. Your greatest pain, can be your greatest gift. I would never be grateful for my child abuse. What I am grateful for is that I have the tools available to me and I chose to do something with what has happened, and I can turn it into something powerful. I choose to leave a legacy I can be proud of. NOT one determined by someone else.
  41. LOVE IS LOVE. End of story. When you find a love that lifts you. Hold on to it.
  42. I don’t know anything! I have something to learn from everyone… even if it is that I should never take their advice again! lol
  43. Respect and heed the lessons of your parents, family, friends and love. There are many who love you enough to spend the time to share their lessons, life and learnings. While you don’t have to do it all, respect=listening. I am Grateful for the people in my life who take the time to honour what I need.

Like this? Tell me and maybe I’ll expand this and turn it into an ebook for you! With love and gratitude, Thank you all for your continued support and love!

Kel xo

/by
KH-Manager
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What is your Unscathed Beauty?

IMG_0055 copy

Your Unscathed Beauty is everything you are, and everything that you are meant to be.

You are not your past. You are not your pain. You are more than what you see in your physical self. You are more than the voices you hear about who you are. You are more than a label, or a passing phase.

You matter. You are designed for a purpose and that is why you are unique.

There is nothing that compares to the #human spirit. Your spirit. The will to survive, the courage and strength it takes to face your deepest of fears.
Your #UnscathedBeauty lives in you and beckons to you to come out and reveal yourself to the world. The light inside you, which can shine brighter than you have ever dreamed. It is that thing in you that aches, screams and eats at you. It doesn’t let you rest because it is your call; your #destiny.

It is also who you choose to become when the world throws ‘life’ at you. It is what you hold on to when times get hard, as they do in life. Let it be the light of the beauty in you that leads you, not the dark that deceives you.

Your Unscathed Beauty is all that you can be- and you own it. It is yours and no person or situation can take it from you.

Hold onto it, nurture it and then- Unleash it!

#KellyHumphries #Author #Speaker #JohnMaxwellTeam

 

 

/by
KH-Manager

Walking with Wendy – Step One to Unleashing my Unscathed Beauty

There is not one quote by Kelly

There is not oneIt started when I was a teen…a broken and rejected soul who fought make sense of the world. My ideal was a figment of my own imagination, and imagination was utilised to make sense of a distorted reality. Somewhere in the void and the darkness, I believed that there was a reason for what was happening, and had been happening since I was just a little girl. There had to be a purpose for why I was being sexually abused by my uncle. I made excuses, I hid, I was brave and held my own to protect my secret. Our secret.

I aimed for perfection, in favour of rejection.

I mourned innocence, in favour of reverence and significance.

I battled my pride in the tears that were my friend in the night.

I made it better by helping other people, encouraging and doing what I could to make the world a better place than I knew it to be.

One day… I would help girls and boys like me. One day, people would know and I would make a difference. Fear was my friend, because when I was afraid, I knew I was still okay, and I could feel something. Fear was also my enemy because that vision of helping other people has eaten at me for too long, and kept me bound in a shadow of who I could be. I am not sorry. Why? Because I am becoming the best version of who I am, and I have needed to undertake this journey in order to heal and get myself into a position to do this.

I am ready now; thank you for waiting for me!

When I was happy, which was the most part of my childhood, I held on to it. I loved the bush, I loved the smell of mum’s cooking and I loved being an athlete. I was a good athlete. I wanted to be an Olympian and I held tight to that dream… That dream saved me. That dream and the love and blessings of the people around me have grounded me and reminded me of what is important and who I am.

What is ‘Unscathed Beauty’ and what does it mean to unleash it? 

It is your heart and your soul.

It is your passion and your vision.

It is your freedom and your hope.

It is your strength and your value.

It is who you were made to be; your dreams spoken, and unspoken.

It is you … and it is me. It is every person who has ever been in a dark place and felt brokenness, dismay, shame or guilt just to name a few.

It is for anyone who has faced adversity and still struggles to find their identity, especially in this chaotic world. Maybe you have been able to rise above that. Maybe you have been able to conquer your darkness. Or maybe you are like me and darkness comes every now and then and you are still learning how to claw your way out. The truth is, there is never a reason for child abuse, but I can turn my circumstances into a cornerstone of strength. I can choose now to make a difference. See I never knew, and he never said… it was a selfish ambition which did not belong to me, but to my perpetrator.

You see, Unscathed Beauty is all that you are, and that which you fight for. It is that thing that you hold onto when there seems to be nothing left within you. It is how you survive.

It is the beauty and the joy that is innately you that no predator, paedophile, abuser or set of adverse circumstances can touch. No person can take it, and no person can make it. It is yours; it is your gift to the world, and it is absolutely amazing and beautiful. It is your Unscathed Beauty.

It is also the title of my book. It is part of my journey, but not all. It has taken some time to answer the challenge of my teens… but I am here now. How? Well I have held onto hope and love. I grasped hold of who I am, and my Unscathed Beauty – now I am unleashing it. I am walking in the freedom of who I am and learning, every day, just how bold I can be.

Walking with Wendy, what can I say…?

I met Wendy just over 18 months ago at a public event where she spoke very passionately about her work. She moved something in my spirit and there was a connection. We both knew there was a reason for the connection. No words were spoken directly to each other, but there was a subtle shift and if I weren’t listening to my heart I would have missed it. There didn’t need to be any words, but I believe we have been led to work together and I am grateful to the many prayers and support I have received to get to this point so far. I am supported on this journey, and blessed and that is why I know Unscathed Beauty will be an incredible piece of work- perhaps my best achievement yet. Wendy Millgate
has the words… (Wendy & Words) and Wendy is now my editor.

We stayed in contact through emails and social media, but we were not able to catch up until Friday 3rd May 2016. While I shared my words and my heart for my book with Wendy, nibbled on copious amounts of chocolate and drank lots of tea, I also cried over my heart to change this space for women and men, and those who are struggling to overcome adversity based on childhood experiences. Wendy listened.

Unscathed Beauty is the first of many books that I will write. Someone once said to me, ‘…. as if you will ever write a book.’ Well I have now – and I could say a few things to that someone… but maybe I should thank them. When someone says I can’t, I say, ‘I can so!’

I finished my final draft of Unscathed Beauty a few months ago, and it has come together nicely. Now it is sitting in the capable hands of Wendy who will dissect it and pull it apart, so I can bring you the best version of Unscathed Beauty that I can.

Together with my friends, family and you, we will set about on a road to change how we view the #CyclesOfSilence that perpetuate our homes and communities. We will make changes, we will shine a light in a really dark space, and we will bring hope and healing to people that need restoration.

Together we will unleash our #UnscathedBeauty and help others find theirs.

Screen Shot 2016-07-14 at 5.52.45 PM

/by
KH-Manager
, , ,

Walking with Wendy – Step One to Unleashing my Unscathed Beauty

There is not one quote by Kelly

There is not one

It started when I was a teen…a broken and rejected soul who fought make sense of the world. My ideal was a figment of my own imagination, and imagination was utilised to make sense of a distorted reality. Somewhere in the void and the darkness, I believed that there was a reason for what was happening, and had been happening since I was just a little girl. There had to be a purpose for why I was being sexually abused by my uncle. I made excuses, I hid, I was brave and held my own to protect my secret. Our secret.

 

I aimed for perfection, in favour of rejection.

I mourned innocence, in favour of reverence and significance.

I battled my pride in the tears that were my friend in the night.

I made it better by helping other people, encouraging and doing what I could to make the world a better place than I knew it to be.

One day… I would help girls and boys like me. One day, people would know and I would make a difference. Fear was my friend, because when I was afraid, I knew I was still okay, and I could feel something. Fear was also my enemy because that vision of helping other people has eaten at me for too long, and kept me bound in a shadow of who I could be. I am not sorry. Why? Because I am becoming the best version of who I am, and I have needed to undertake this journey in order to heal and get myself into a position to do this.

I am ready now; thank you for waiting for me!

When I was happy, which was the most part of my childhood, I held on to it. I loved the bush, I loved the smell of mum’s cooking and I loved being an athlete. I was a good athlete. I wanted to be an Olympian and I held tight to that dream… That dream saved me. That dream and the love and blessings of the people around me have grounded me and reminded me of what is important and who I am.

What is ‘Unscathed Beauty’ and what does it mean to unleash it?

It is your heart and your soul.

It is your passion and your vision.

It is your freedom and your hope.

It is your strength and your value.

It is who you were made to be; your dreams spoken, and unspoken.

It is you … and it is me. It is every person who has ever been in a dark place and felt brokenness, dismay, shame or guilt just to name a few.

It is for anyone who has faced adversity and still struggles to find their identity, especially in this chaotic world. Maybe you have been able to rise above that. Maybe you have been able to conquer your darkness. Or maybe you are like me and darkness comes every now and then and you are still learning how to claw your way out. The truth is, there is never a reason for child abuse, but I can turn my circumstances into a cornerstone of strength. I can choose now to make a difference. See I never knew, and he never said… it was a selfish ambition which did not belong to me, but to my perpetrator.

You see, Unscathed Beauty is all that you are, and that which you fight for. It is that thing that you hold onto when there seems to be nothing left within you. It is how you survive.

It is the beauty and the joy that is innately you that no predator, paedophile, abuser or set of adverse circumstances can touch. No person can take it, and no person can make it. It is yours; it is your gift to the world, and it is absolutely amazing and beautiful. It is your Unscathed Beauty.

It is also the title of my book. It is part of my journey, but not all. It has taken some time to answer the challenge of my teens… but I am here now. How? Well I have held onto hope and love. I grasped hold of who I am, and my Unscathed Beauty – now I am unleashing it. I am walking in the freedom of who I am and learning, every day, just how bold I can be.

Walking with Wendy, what can I say…?

I met Wendy just over 18 months ago at a public event where she spoke very passionately about her work. She moved something in my spirit and there was a connection. We both knew there was a reason for the connection. No words were spoken directly to each other, but there was a subtle shift and if I weren’t listening to my heart I would have missed it. There didn’t need to be any words, but I believe we have been led to work together and I am grateful to the many prayers and support I have received to get to this point so far. I am supported on this journey, and blessed and that is why I know Unscathed Beauty will be an incredible piece of work- perhaps my best achievement yet. Wendy Millgate
has the words… (Wendy & Words) and Wendy is now my editor.

We stayed in contact through emails and social media, but we were not able to catch up until Friday 3rd May 2016. While I shared my words and my heart for my book with Wendy, nibbled on copious amounts of chocolate and drank lots of tea, I also cried over my heart to change this space for women and men, and those who are struggling to overcome adversity based on childhood experiences. Wendy listened.

Unscathed Beauty is the first of many books that I will write. Someone once said to me, ‘…. as if you will ever write a book.’ Well I have now – and I could say a few things to that someone… but maybe I should thank them. When someone says I can’t, I say, ‘I can so!’

I finished my final draft of Unscathed Beauty a few months ago, and it has come together nicely. Now it is sitting in the capable hands of Wendy who will dissect it and pull it apart, so I can bring you the best version of Unscathed Beauty that I can.

Together with my friends, family and you, we will set about on a road to change how we view the #CyclesOfSilence that perpetuate our homes and communities. We will make changes, we will shine a light in a really dark space, and we will bring hope and healing to people that need restoration.

Together we will unleash our #UnscathedBeauty and help others find theirs.

Screen Shot 2016-07-14 at 5.52.45 PM

/by
KH-Manager
,

Learning to survive: the deception of false perception

You are valuable and loved - Kelly

Screen Shot 2016-06-30 at 10.35.31 PM

It doesn’t matter how many times I get on stage and speak… there is a moment of truth between knowing I am meant to do this; this is my call… and the thought of, what on earth are they going to think of me? The voice of my childhood has always weighed heavily on me, in the sense that it always floats annoyingly in the back of my mind. It takes commitment to myself and absolute conviction in what I am doing to drown it out.

One of the I have found in myself- and in my own experience of people who have experienced childhood trauma is this: We have learnt to survive based on how people perceive us. Generally, we develop strategies which ensure self preservation, by keeping people in our circles happy and making sure that we are seen as “good.” You are a people pleaser- generally speaking, which in itself is not a bad thing however, we can tend to spend so much of our time trying to make others happy, to keep peace that we very quickly lose sight of our own being.

I firmly believe that this survival mechanism has been formed out of fear- fear of being found out, or the shame of ‘the secret’ being revealed. It is perpetuated by the predator, who plays on this fear as a silent manipulative means to keep you quiet and trapped in your childhood nightmare. “what will mum and dad think of you if they knew…?” So you hold on, and you maintain your image- after all, by keeping people happy, by making sure people like you and by swallowing your hurt and shame, no one will see all of that darkness and shame that you are so afraid to bring out into the open. No one can judge you and no one hurt you. Realistically, the only person who is really judging is yourself. We are always our worst critics, and in most cases the only one who has a negative perception of you, is you! As it turns out, you are like a treasure chest of unexplored strength and character. You are amazing!

I am still afraid, sometimes my strength fades into the dark recesses of my stomach and churns there. Then the prickling sweat of self consciousness rises up and tells me to run. I take a moment and I think about what I have to do and remind myself, people don’t talk about this stuff for a reason- so it is okay to be afraid, but I will not be defined by that fear. I acquit myself of that fear and remember those emotions are not my own, they belong to him, my perpetrator/predator… so I take a breath, I hold myself proud and I know that I will take up that baton no matter how it feels to me- I know it is temporary, and there is a much greater freedom I can give to someone else by being vulnerable.

It has taken me a long time to hold my own image and value, to let go of what I perceive other people will think- at the end of the day they were lies fed to me out of a predators own cowardice and fear. I am strong, I am valuable and I have a mission- No doubt, so do you. Don’t listen to the lies of you past, but hold on to the beautiful person you are, and the courage that is in your heart.

While I plan in the future to speak on many things, sharing the deeply personal journey through overcoming sexual abuse never feels like it is getting easier. When I do speak though, when I begin to bring this issue into the open I feel strength begin to rise, and I know there is no other way- I am doing what I am meant to do. While I am still relatively new to this, I feel like I am exposing my rawness time and time again. I also know that there are stories in every one of us that has the ability to transform the world. When I think of some of the things I have come across in my work as a Police Officer, I feel like my story is really only minor in comparison to what I have seen, heard or dealt. However, I understand the gifts that I have been given to achieve this task and what has happened is opening a door. It’s a heavy door, one that reeks of deception and old age…. It’s dusty, but now is the time to open door and allow light into this very dark place.

I have the ability to make this stand, and remind anyone who has experienced child trauma or sexual abuse that they are not alone, that there is someone who understands their pain, the anger, fear and shame. To bring something so dark out into the light and remind people that no matter where they have come from, or whatever their story that each of us is created uniquely, beautifully and with an absolute purpose in mind. To help men, women and children see their unique beauty and value and their Unscathed Beauty.

Furthermore, for those who have never felt or experienced anything like this, there is an awareness and understanding raised about an issue that generally causes people to run the other direction. Let’s stop running the other way on this stuff… we need to stand together people… we need to let victims who are true survivors know that they are not alone and can overcome their battles. They are valuable, loved and certainly not a shameful secret. It is time to unshackle the shame- to conquer our fears and unleash our #UnscathedBeauty

hold-your-own-pen1

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KH-Manager
,

Step into your yes and fly with your why!

Stand out - Osho

stand out

There are some days I wake up and still question the reasons I am here on this earth. Sometimes I think I just simply forget my WHY… or get consumed by the craziness of life and my WHY gets lost. Am I the only one? There are some days I wish I didn’t have to wake up and could sleep the day away, but more often than not, I am glad I still have the opportunity to walk out the path before me. There was a time when I was much younger I had hoped I wouldn’t wake up at all. I let the past consume me and the voices in my head rule the vision in my heart. ‘Why me?’ Time, patience, understanding and perspective has taught me a great many things and is part of the growing up process. I’m not sure we ever fully grow up and we sure don’t ever stop learning!

I don’t always know what it looks like at the end… but I have always known I was born to speak. No one ever asks to go through adversity and certainly no one asks to be a victim of sexual abuse. Its taken a long time to get to this point and embrace my calling. It has certainly come at a price, and that price is freedom. There is only so long that you can continue on a path and ignore the true calling of your life. I feel like there is a huge weight off my chest because I have finally answered that niggling voice that has been annoying me for a good long while. We are all born for something and whether you know it or not, your heart is probably trying tell you in some way. I have finally accepted the mission, and here are a few things that have helped me step into my YES, and fly with my WHY.

Keep your mind in front, not behind: We are not our painful past, and while it is hard, we cannot allow that pain to define who we become in the future; rather allow the lessons from that pain that make us better for the future. It is easy to fall on the wayside when adversity rises up; we can easily be distracted from our goals and purpose because we revert to an old mindset of coping. It is hard to break old habits and sometimes even harder to know that it is a habit. For me- I accept that I am on a journey and I must remain 110% focussed on the vision that fuels my WHY. My biggest why is the lives that I know will be impacted by giving people permission to be brave, speak loudly and proudly, and bring freedom from pain by helping people overcome adversity.

We live in a world of here and now and sometimes I feel like we forget that it takes time to get things right. I am impatient! It takes hard work and perseverance to become the best end-product that you can be. The journey teaches us lessons which we have a choice to learn from or let them slip past us. To be patient with yourself is difficult, but I encourage you to see yourself on a journey of discovery to your best possible self. Look adversity in the eyes and ask yourself, ‘what are you trying to show me?’ Learn and keep your eyes front and centre on your WHY and your passion.

Don’t put it on the shelf, be patient with yourself: When adversity comes, I want to pack my bags and run!  I have often found myself going around and around in circles, overthinking and getting quite worked up- especially in the last few weeks, which has cost me many hours of sleep. As someone who is a creative innovator sometimes my ideas and thoughts can easily overwhelm me and I think to myself; what’s the point? Every time I think I am on the right path, another life lesson rears its head, another failure, another bad voice from my past tells me ‘it would be easier if you just forget this idea or put it on the shelf.’  I found myself praying and asking myself yet again, how do I do this? What am I supposed to do? What is the next chapter? How do I make my book perfect? How can I reach the most people? Argh!!! Too many questions! There is a small voice in me that sometimes gets drowned out in the chaos of life and my own unbelief sometimes. That voice I know is the voice of truth. That is the voice that restores my reasoning, provides clarity, reminds me to hold on to my dream unwaveringly, ensures I remember my WHY and reminds me to be patient with myself. What is your voice telling you?

I know I am not alone in this struggle. My problem though is not knowing what to do, It’s the excitement in knowing that its not that far away and the journey has already begun- finally! I’m doing this thing! I’m seriously impatient and wound-up and I want to be the end product I see in my head NOW! However, I cannot forget that everything must have a foundation! There is no point hanging up my boots when I feel overwhelmed or frustrated or because life happens. The thing about life is that it is ALWAYS happening.

I am learning to be patient with the journey and allow things to mature as they should. Its like a mother who gives birth too early, the baby wont be as well formed as if it had taken the time to mature. So when those stumbling blocks rear their ugly heads remember to use the lesson as a cornerstone of strength and give yourself the opportunity to see your dream come to fruition in its time. Don’t rush it, but take the time to learn, grow and mature. Just because something may not be working out now, doesn’t mean that your dream is over, or it’s time to hang it on the shelf. Dreams don’t go away, I promise. They just niggle at you and annoy you until you do something about them!

Be wise and don’t compromise: I know what it takes to tell my story but I don’t know everything. I have spent the last 25 years or so running from the pain of my past. In 2014 I sat down and started writing a book, because I felt it was the best way to confront my fears and start my journey to breaking the silence and being a voice for other people. (I am working on the final stages now) I have done a lot of healing! However; I have known since I was in my early 20’s what I was meant to do. I just got scared. I allowed other people’s opinions, feelings and thoughts enter my mind. I allowed my own voice of destruction to tell me, ‘I’m not ready’, ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘people will laugh at you…’ The truth is, when your passionate about something- it shows. When you are authentic and real; it shows. People respect the truth. The naysayers will always be naysayers, but they are few and far between.

It’s okay to be on a journey. Even better when you can learn a lesson from something that has taken you from your path. The one thing I have learnt from adversity, is if you are working towards a goal and you fall off the bandwagon be wise. Allow yourself time to learn the lesson, but compromising your passion and goal causes resentment, anger and frustration. That could be toward someone close to you or yourself. It eats away at you because there is a part of you which knows you are not where you should be. This frustration breeds resentment and you lose sight of who you are as a person, what you believe and your purpose. Sometimes it happens before you even know and others happen out of coping and life. I have fallen trap to almost take on someone else’s identity whether that be trying to keep the peace or make that other person happy. Or you try to hold an image that is not you, in order to protect the real you from getting hurt. Hold on to who you are, hold your own image and be proud of who YOU are. You simply sell yourself short by compromising your passion and purpose for someone else, or something else.

Do your absolute best not to get caught where you don’t belong! Own your why, be bold and step into your yes. A journey is called a journey for a reason. Its an adventure full of ups, downs and merry go rounds. If I can encourage you to look at this adversity like an adventure and explore the lessons, you will learn so much about yourself not only as a person, but the strength of your character, depth of your personality and absolute fortitude you possess and will develop as you undertake the journey. I have learnt all of this is part of stepping into your YES and learning to fly with your WHY.

Much love, Kel  xo

CS lewis

 

#DontRush #EnjoyTheJourney #KellyHumphries

 

 

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Who is Kelly Humphries?

Kelly Humphries is a survivor of child sexual abuse, a law enforcement officer, ambassador, author, and advocate. Kel is extremely passionate about breaking cycles of abuse through multiple platforms. Learn more

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