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kelly's image by Christian Del Rosario

It’s time to unleash the beast. The time is now! It is time to step up and step out. This weekend I will travel to Sydney with my partner to the #SpeakersInstitute, Sydney to get bolder, stronger and gain more skills to bring my message to Australia and the world. In a three-day intensive boot-camp I will let the lion inside me loose and I will roar or perhaps squeal…

I have been speaking for a few months now about my heart to change the cycles of abuse which perpetuate our society. To bring to light what happens in the journey of someone who has experienced abuse and the long-term effects that a person will deal with because of childhood trauma.

by Christian Del Rosario

John Maxwell Team event 2014©AttreoStudio All rights reserved 2014 www.ChristianDelRosario.com

It is time to start talking, to give people permission to have a conversation that sometimes remains as closed and hidden as the soul of the person who bears the secret.  The cries of little ones in dark corners and right under our noses go unanswered across the entire globe. Even right here in our unassuming tiny pocket of Australia, there are more secrets than many of us would think or believe. As the cycle continues and the culture of silence goes on, it is time to not just say the words, but to acknowledge the pain behind the problem and face it head on.

In a study conducted by the Australian Institute of Criminology; 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men will experience some kind of sexual abuse before the age of 18 years. This is an epidemic and disease that must be eradicated and these figures are unacceptable. We must take a stand together and collectively become the answer. Let’s make a change. Let’s start talking about the hard stuff. Let us encourage conversations which are going to set people free, not cage people’s dreams. Let us get brave together. We must face our fears and hold on to those things that make us beautiful and unique. That is our courage and our strength.  That is our #UnscathedBeauty.

Much Love Kel XO

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Sticks and Stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me…right? Well, we now know this is a farce; and while we can all look tough on the outside, what’s happening on the inside sometimes seems just about as crazy as the world we live in. I have often found that despite my best efforts to
‘figure myself out,’ I have failed at times and revelation and understanding can take way too long… What is it about life that see’s us go through so many up’s and downs, rollercoasters, roundabouts, and repetitive cycles?

Why do feel like we are stuck sometimes and really can’t find our way out of the murky waters of life? I believe and I always have, that the power in whether we move forward in life is ultimately up to us. To you and me to be strong and make decisions that move us forward in the direction or our goals. Not to let others come along and speak negatively in our life, or poorly influence us, or distract us from what is important.

It is a very difficult journey on your own, and as a childhood survivor of sexual abuse, I know only too well what it feels like to be alone in the middle of a struggle. What I have learnt is that it is much easier to reach out and be vulnerable for a moment to enable you to be strong for a lifetime. You can give all the self-talk and positive affirmation you like, but the journey is much easier when we surround ourselves with people who help to push us in the right direction and fuel our dreams, ignite our passion, share our values and absolutely love us unconditionally. Sometimes that is hard to find, but we have to make a decision to be brave, and seek out the people who will support and love us, and help us grow positively in this journey of life. This includes people who will undoubtedly speak positively into your life.

It turns out that there is some science behind this positive affirmation thing and I can say with 100% certainty the language I speak about myself and allow others to speak into my life really does make a huge difference to my level of success, and my ability to overcome in any situation.

Take this for example; we all know that the human body is made up of mostly water; in fact according to Dr Jeffrey UTZ, a Neuroscientist in Paediatrics from Allegheny University; babies have the most water percentage in their bodies at around 78%. This changes as the child grows to around 60% in adult hood.

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Dr Masaru Emoto Water Crystal – a happy one!

While I am no scientist and certainly no neuroscientist;  the research of Dr Masaru Emoto provides a great metaphor for the power of positive speaking and affirmation. Dr Emoto, a Japanese author, researcher and entrepreneur, who delved into the research of Water, Consciousness and Intent. He believes that water is the blueprint for humanity and has studied how the water structure changes depending on the energy it is given i.e. music, love, gratitude, positive affirmation and conversely feelings of hate, anger and the like. Watch some of Dr Emoto’s water research here.

The water given the love, gratitude and positive affirmation stayed clear, and when being examined produced beautiful crystalline structures, and the water given the negativity and hate produced deformed and dark crystalline structures. The same is true for a rice experiment which he conducted in the same way,
Dr Emoto’s Rice Study  where the rice given the love, and positive energy was shown to stay almost normal, while the ‘hate’ rice turns dark and quite frankly, rather gross.

While there is undoubtedly much praise for Dr Emoto’s research, there are also some sceptics. It makes a lot of sense to me though when we consider how much water makes up our being, and what we put into our body, how we speak to ourselves and let others speak to us, can really change how we look and feel.

Regardless, it is clear that when we speak love, joy and happiness into someone’s life, and tell ourselves things that will improve us, grow us and make us shine, then we will achieve success and radiate while doing it.

Those who are spoken poorly of; speak poorly to themselves, who are abused, hated and rejected, those who put chemicals, drugs and pollutants through their body; they may look good in the beginning, but eventually, the darkness and the distorted nature of that negativity will destroy and darken the spirit and the mind.

Life will throw us off track at times and it may be hard to connect with those who are passionate about the same things as you. You may not even know what it is you are passionate about, but when you spend time with people who make you feel good about who you are, and what you like, you will probably find your passion will find you.

If you are not feeling so crash hot and the world seems to be dragging you down, have a look at what you are putting into your body. Ask yourself; have I given myself some love today? How can I connect with people like me? Don’t think you are alone ever, there are thousands of ways to connect with people- just start putting it out there and talking to people and you will find your answers.

There is value in looking after you, and loving and supporting other people. Look after your body, and your mind, and you will shine!

Much Love, Kel xo

Sharing my story, IWD March 11th

International Women’s Day Celebrations- 2016 

I was so privileged this past week celebrating International Women’s Day with so many of my colleagues and friends across the Queensland Police and Emergency Services. What an incredible week it has been. I have been surrounded by phenomenal women (and men) with amazing stories that have both inspired, bought joy, hope and reminded me what is important in my own life, and it is only the beginning. In spreading my own message, and sharing my story, I only seem to find meaningful and wonderful connection, love, friendship and support. This was certainly the case at this years Crime Stoppers International (Pine Rivers) High Tea and International Women’s Day event on the 11th of March at Kallangur. I was so grateful to come and share my journey at this lovely event.

This week has brought me to my knees, I have cried, I have laughed, and I have even held others in my arms while they cried. I am constantly learning from other peoples journeys, their hopes, and it all comes down to one thing. LOVE. It’s a love I cannot describe because it surpasses anything I fully understand.  I can only say that it is and always has been bigger than me or anything I can do in my own strength. All I know is to keep walking, even when I can’t see where the next step falls. That is faith. When you align your heart with your head, beautiful things happen even when you are scared, when you feel alone, or if you feel unloveable, broken or like you are failing. You are never alone.

For me, it is an answer to a long awaited prayer, and all I really needed to do was say no to my fear. I have struggled more than anything in the last few months to harness my courage and strength. I have much to do, but I know that with the incredible support and love I have received from all of you, my friends, family, and colleagues, I cannot fail. I even have the support of the Queensland Police Service and for that I am grateful and so very humbled. I attended the International Women’s Day Event at the Pullman hotel, on the 08th of March and was Awarded a award for Courage, which I did not expect, or do I feel worthy. But I am humbled that the QPS is behind me in this journey. International Women’s Day Awards

I have many messages, and I do talk as openly as I am able to about how I have overcome Sexual Abuse; and there are many reasons for this which i will share in a later blog for you, but essentially it comes down to this. Your past does not define who you are, or who you become. No one has the power to take your voice. You are made with a purpose, a passion and you are incredibly unique. There is nothing that can stop you from achieving the desires of your heart. “It is time, to conquer your fear and unleash your Unscathed Beauty”

Thank you for coming on this journey with me. Thank-you for sharing your heart with me and allowing me to speak to yours. It is only when we work together can we really affect change, and I can’t do it alone. Bless you my friends.

Much Love, Kel.

 

 

Roaring Lion
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How Big Is Your Lion? Photo Credit

 

My Roaring Lion

The innocence of love, The innocence of life,

The ignorance of knowing, or not knowing what is right.

The butterflies of darkness rise up like a wave of fear inside

As the tide of nausea beckons with a message; run. Hide.

Fixated I stand, too scared to comprehend, a moment, a choice,

The uncle whom was trusted and loved, the same who took my voice.

The prickling sweat of hurt, betrayal and all that is lost,

Cannot compare to my innocence, which his cowardice has cost.

Yet scars and time do heal somewhat, as the lion inside me rises,

And though time ticks so slowly by, I’m done with compromises.

I humbly stand right here, right now, a survivor who has overcome,

It’s painful, sad, but it’s true I am not the only one.

It is time to unshackle the shame, the guilt that sees you broken on the floor;

Until every man, woman and child, believes their lion can roar.

 

Kelly Humphries 2016

 

Stand out - Osho

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There are some days I wake up and still question the reasons I am here on this earth. Sometimes I think I just simply forget my WHY… or get consumed by the craziness of life and my WHY gets lost. Am I the only one? There are some days I wish I didn’t have to wake up and could sleep the day away, but more often than not, I am glad I still have the opportunity to walk out the path before me. There was a time when I was much younger I had hoped I wouldn’t wake up at all. I let the past consume me and the voices in my head rule the vision in my heart. ‘Why me?’ Time, patience, understanding and perspective has taught me a great many things and is part of the growing up process. I’m not sure we ever fully grow up and we sure don’t ever stop learning!

I don’t always know what it looks like at the end… but I have always known I was born to speak. No one ever asks to go through adversity and certainly no one asks to be a victim of sexual abuse. Its taken a long time to get to this point and embrace my calling. It has certainly come at a price, and that price is freedom. There is only so long that you can continue on a path and ignore the true calling of your life. I feel like there is a huge weight off my chest because I have finally answered that niggling voice that has been annoying me for a good long while. We are all born for something and whether you know it or not, your heart is probably trying tell you in some way. I have finally accepted the mission, and here are a few things that have helped me step into my YES, and fly with my WHY.

Keep your mind in front, not behind: We are not our painful past, and while it is hard, we cannot allow that pain to define who we become in the future; rather allow the lessons from that pain that make us better for the future. It is easy to fall on the wayside when adversity rises up; we can easily be distracted from our goals and purpose because we revert to an old mindset of coping. It is hard to break old habits and sometimes even harder to know that it is a habit. For me- I accept that I am on a journey and I must remain 110% focussed on the vision that fuels my WHY. My biggest why is the lives that I know will be impacted by giving people permission to be brave, speak loudly and proudly, and bring freedom from pain by helping people overcome adversity.

We live in a world of here and now and sometimes I feel like we forget that it takes time to get things right. I am impatient! It takes hard work and perseverance to become the best end-product that you can be. The journey teaches us lessons which we have a choice to learn from or let them slip past us. To be patient with yourself is difficult, but I encourage you to see yourself on a journey of discovery to your best possible self. Look adversity in the eyes and ask yourself, ‘what are you trying to show me?’ Learn and keep your eyes front and centre on your WHY and your passion.

Don’t put it on the shelf, be patient with yourself: When adversity comes, I want to pack my bags and run!  I have often found myself going around and around in circles, overthinking and getting quite worked up- especially in the last few weeks, which has cost me many hours of sleep. As someone who is a creative innovator sometimes my ideas and thoughts can easily overwhelm me and I think to myself; what’s the point? Every time I think I am on the right path, another life lesson rears its head, another failure, another bad voice from my past tells me ‘it would be easier if you just forget this idea or put it on the shelf.’  I found myself praying and asking myself yet again, how do I do this? What am I supposed to do? What is the next chapter? How do I make my book perfect? How can I reach the most people? Argh!!! Too many questions! There is a small voice in me that sometimes gets drowned out in the chaos of life and my own unbelief sometimes. That voice I know is the voice of truth. That is the voice that restores my reasoning, provides clarity, reminds me to hold on to my dream unwaveringly, ensures I remember my WHY and reminds me to be patient with myself. What is your voice telling you?

I know I am not alone in this struggle. My problem though is not knowing what to do, It’s the excitement in knowing that its not that far away and the journey has already begun- finally! I’m doing this thing! I’m seriously impatient and wound-up and I want to be the end product I see in my head NOW! However, I cannot forget that everything must have a foundation! There is no point hanging up my boots when I feel overwhelmed or frustrated or because life happens. The thing about life is that it is ALWAYS happening.

I am learning to be patient with the journey and allow things to mature as they should. Its like a mother who gives birth too early, the baby wont be as well formed as if it had taken the time to mature. So when those stumbling blocks rear their ugly heads remember to use the lesson as a cornerstone of strength and give yourself the opportunity to see your dream come to fruition in its time. Don’t rush it, but take the time to learn, grow and mature. Just because something may not be working out now, doesn’t mean that your dream is over, or it’s time to hang it on the shelf. Dreams don’t go away, I promise. They just niggle at you and annoy you until you do something about them!

Be wise and don’t compromise: I know what it takes to tell my story but I don’t know everything. I have spent the last 25 years or so running from the pain of my past. In 2014 I sat down and started writing a book, because I felt it was the best way to confront my fears and start my journey to breaking the silence and being a voice for other people. (I am working on the final stages now) I have done a lot of healing! However; I have known since I was in my early 20’s what I was meant to do. I just got scared. I allowed other people’s opinions, feelings and thoughts enter my mind. I allowed my own voice of destruction to tell me, ‘I’m not ready’, ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘people will laugh at you…’ The truth is, when your passionate about something- it shows. When you are authentic and real; it shows. People respect the truth. The naysayers will always be naysayers, but they are few and far between.

It’s okay to be on a journey. Even better when you can learn a lesson from something that has taken you from your path. The one thing I have learnt from adversity, is if you are working towards a goal and you fall off the bandwagon be wise. Allow yourself time to learn the lesson, but compromising your passion and goal causes resentment, anger and frustration. That could be toward someone close to you or yourself. It eats away at you because there is a part of you which knows you are not where you should be. This frustration breeds resentment and you lose sight of who you are as a person, what you believe and your purpose. Sometimes it happens before you even know and others happen out of coping and life. I have fallen trap to almost take on someone else’s identity whether that be trying to keep the peace or make that other person happy. Or you try to hold an image that is not you, in order to protect the real you from getting hurt. Hold on to who you are, hold your own image and be proud of who YOU are. You simply sell yourself short by compromising your passion and purpose for someone else, or something else.

Do your absolute best not to get caught where you don’t belong! Own your why, be bold and step into your yes. A journey is called a journey for a reason. Its an adventure full of ups, downs and merry go rounds. If I can encourage you to look at this adversity like an adventure and explore the lessons, you will learn so much about yourself not only as a person, but the strength of your character, depth of your personality and absolute fortitude you possess and will develop as you undertake the journey. I have learnt all of this is part of stepping into your YES and learning to fly with your WHY.

Much love, Kel  xo

CS lewis

 

#DontRush #EnjoyTheJourney #KellyHumphries