Psychological signs

Let’s face it; talking about Sexual Abuse is tough… it’s tough because we don’t talk about it like we should. It certainly isn’t a topic that comes up at a Sunday lunch and for as long as I have known, it has been thought of as this insidious taboo issue, which is better, kept where it belongs…”a secret.”


We nobly beckon others to speak up, be brave and then when a survivor breaks their silence the support wavers, the system can crumble and a survivor feels as alone as they did while they held tight their secret… I know… I held it tight for a long time. Any wonder that the pain, shame and darkness around sexual abuse manifests in so many unusual and yet understandable ways.

We have become braver… stronger… more informed and with that we have better systems, more understanding and indeed are making waves when it comes to sexual abuse. But, sadly we have such a long way to go.

So in this blog 4, of my series, “Your Questions Answered” I am going to highlight the psychological signs of sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is defined broadly… and as I have mentioned in previous blogs, these signs are generally comorbid (more than one) and will occur concurrently with behavioural and physical signs of abuse.

Most psychological conditions could be indicators for other problems a person may face, but if you have read my blogs on the Physical and Behavioural traits of someone experiencing sexual abuse, then you can start to draw some fairly solid conclusions about what is happening and going on for a young person or even an adult… bear in mind this is an overview and while it is a long read- if I were to delve into these in depth I might as well write another book.

So here are the most significant psychological factors that may indicate trauma is occurring.

Psychological signs

 Depression: It was never going to be easy to deal with abuse, now a survivor battles with their self worth, their feelings of guilt, shame, sexuality, where they fit in their family, their safety and means of survival. They lose sleep, are constantly told lies by the predator in their midst and made or groomed to perform sexual acts that can only serve to violate the personal boundaries and leave them feeling isolated, alone and depressed. Depression is feelings of hopelessness, comes with insomnia, inability to concentrate, fear of losing control, restlessness, lack of pleasure in life activities, and significant weight loss or gain. (to name a few)

 Anxiety: Anxiety develops over time, and can turn into more debilitating illnesses and social phobias. It stems from feeling unsafe, uncertain and watching for the cues of their predator. My belief is that Anxiety starts with heightened arousal- that is heightened biochemical arousal in the brain… the part of the brain that sends the warning signals that it is safe, or not safe. Sometimes it gets a little confused and the brain doesn’t always know what is safe or not


and that is where I believe that other significant issues occur. The longer someone remains silent, the more at risk they can be from anxiety. This is usually found in close association with Depression or the next topic of PTSD. Sweating, phobias, dizziness, chest pain, fear of dying, palpitations, chills and hot flushes. Untreated, and without support this can be crippling.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)/Complex PTSD: After being involved with a major negative life event or ongoing issue (Such as ongoing child sexual or physical abuse) a victim can experience PTSD. If it continues over a long period of time it can be called Complex PTSD. As with Anxiety, it is a state of being hyper aroused (Hyper vigilant), or conversely feeling depr

essed, isolating yourself from events that may remind you of ‘the incident/s’, reliving the event (flashbacks), and other life issues. A person may also experience uncontrollable crying, rages, sleep disorders, high-risk behaviours, shame, guilt and blame. This is something that can develop in teenagers and even children who have experienced child abuse. In teenagers this exhibits in the reckless behaviour you sometimes see, truancy, substance abuse, and disengagement. It can come out in nightmares, drawings and play…

 Disassociation: This is one I am very familiar with… and I liken this to watching the world as if watching a movie. It is the ability for a victim to almost physically remove themselves from their body… numb, withdraw, vague out, or anything that removes them emotionally from the situation when it becomes too difficult. Sometimes the person may not remember important information, in some cases as below; new identities are formed like personality disorders. A person who has experienced significant trauma, can at times minimize the physical feelings they experience also.

Personality Disorders: This is not a common one, but in extreme cases of child abuse, and child trauma a victim can develop a personality disorder. My personal belief is that this stems from the paranoia a victim feels and then as it is left untreated develops into a much bigger problem of personality disorder. The paranoia comes from the violation of personal space and hyper vigilance a victim will experience (Among other things). Depending on the circumstances will depend on the type of personality disorder that can present. i.e Paranoid Personality Disorder: extreme distrust and suspicion of others. Borderline Personality Disorder: instability with interpersonal relationships, self-image, and lack of control over impulses.

 Attachment Issues: Attachment issues, just simply means that the victim cannot form lasting relationships with people, especially in terms of intimate relationships. Sometimes they struggle to be affectionate to others. It stems from the trust of the individual being damaged or broken, boundaries being violated and the person not feeling safe. This happens early on in development and from what I have learnt, the emotions that were meant to develop in the brain during childhood are significantly impaired as a result of the abuse, and so patterns of behaviour are changed as a result. It could be that this person may fail to show remorse for things, have difficulty learning, and decreased social awareness.

 Addictions: Addictions could be addictions to anything- but specifically, drugs, alcohol or anything that ‘numbs or provides a route for escapism.’ Most of the time, a victim cannot sit still with themselves, well, this is what I have found in my experience. Before writing my book #UnscathedBeauty, I was not able to sit still with my pain… so I needed to do something to fill the gap, and that gap was alcohol for a time, and then it just became things. Projects, business and never stopping… facing my pain means I now have the freedom to sit with not only my own pain, but someone else’s.

Eating Disorders: This is usually about over or under eating…

ANOREXIA: (Self induced weight loss through starvation, not eating, and exercise)

BULIMIA: (Repeated bouts of over eating, binging and fear of gaining weight.)

Reasons why a child abuse, or victim of a sexual offence may do this is to possibly appear less attractive to the perpetrator, or perhaps it is a way to seek attention… like I have said before, a victim will try and communicate without saying the words… this can be like that…

Neurotic Reactions: Behaviour where a person engages in ritualistic and/or overt behaviours. Sometimes this is in order to alleviate anxiety, which is one of the biggest symptoms of Child trauma.

Withdrawal and Mistrust: Like anything, if something hurts once, it can continue to hurt… over and over again. Like a child who touches a hot stove, when it burns, we learn not to touch it again… something which happens to hurt, harm, confuse, scare, or take advantage of a child mostly results in the child pulling away and withdrawing… this is how they have learnt to survive and forms patterns well into adulthood.

 Suicidal Ideology: The belief that the world would be a better place without you. I believe this comes from the confines of silence and shame. The perpetual feelings of worthlessness and self loathing that leads to poor self esteem. Let me tell you… you are worth it, and if your reading this and you think that there is no way out for you…let me tell you there is, there is always a way- and it does get better.

Self-Harming Behaviour: As I mentioned in my last blog, self-harming can be as a result of feeling numb. Numbness that comes from withdrawal and disassociation… when someone cuts it is as if they can remember that they are still alive. They can also feel something with the pain and it releases some of what they are feeling inside. remember self harm can be cutting, but it can also be self injury… punching poles, head butting, throwing oneself on the ground etc.

As I stated earlier, this is just an overview, however after these past 4 blogs we should have a fairly good understanding of what to look for and how we can identify when something is out of place.

If you are struggling with any of these things, remember I can help you! If you need adviceIMG_0045 or support let me know or feel free to contact any of the below numbers for support.

Take care,

Much Love

Kel xo


Next Blog: Blog 5 of the “Your Questions Answered Series”-What is grooming?

To learn about what I am what I am up to click here. 


Every situation is different and each situation has its own very complex circumstances. There are no hard and fast answers, what I say here is my experience- and my own opinion supported at times by research.

This stuff is not black and white. It just can’t be. What is black and white/ right and wrong is that Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence is never ok, and it is never under any circumstances right.

What is grey is in fact terribly dark… That is the silence that sits surrounding this topic. The shame and absolute fear so heavily laden on the shoulders of victims that the mere thought of speaking brings crippling anxiety and fear.

Lets change that… together.


For further support you can click HERE:

If you are in immediate danger, please call 000 in Australia. 

To report sexual abuse to police- please attend a Police Station or call 131444 for Policelink. (Australia)

To seek support or assistance you can contact me, (I am a single entity who can offer advice, and personal coaching. I am not a psychologist or registered counsellor, but I am very approachable and happy to help. 

You can contact the Centre for Sexual Violence at and download any of their brochures and information, and likewise Bravehearts–

For internet related advice please contact The Carly Ryan Foundation


What is IT? Sexual Abuse defined; but with a difference…

What is Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence?

Well… I’m so glad you asked… and you did- thankyou. It goes without saying that we should get a few things straight if we are going to delve into sexual abuse and sexual violence and try to understand how and what to do when these awful things turn up in life. Makes sense to get the foundations right- right?

For Blog 1 What is sexual Violence

Before I start- if you are reading my blog for the first time, you can find a bit more about what I am doing, and who I am by clicking HERE. It is my heart to break cycles of Child trauma and abuse through education, empowerment, understanding and creating transformation. Why? Because every victim is one too many- it happened to me and if I can stop it happening to just one other child, or family, then I have done something good. One step at a time, one day at a time, together we can make a difference…

There are many areas to consider when trying to define sexual violence and abuse- so it is actually a little bit difficult to give a clear cut answer- but hey I’ll try.

There are many avenues of violation that can occur and it is for that reason some people, organisations and certain areas of governments may place sexual abuse and assault under the banner of Sexual Violence– to make it easier.

The scope of sexual violence can stretch to include child pornography, making Child Exploitation Material (that is existing both in the home and in an online space), Incest, Rape, or any sexual act, innuendo or the like committed against any person (Adult or Child) without consent.

Additionally, we cannot forget Internet crimes which account for a large percentage of the statistics, whether it be a initial online meeting – followed up by meeting in person to conduct a sexual act, showing of images which include pornography or demanding a child perform sexual acts over the internet, or grooming (to name a few). For our teens, a majority of our young people think that sending a nude pic over their phone or being made to send a nude pic is now a ‘normal’ element of dating- or even an expectation if you are going to ‘go out’ with someone.

There are teens (and even adults) whose ideas of healthy relationships involve violent sex and raping a girl or on the odd occasion a girl forcing a guy because of what they see online. The victims, both male and female are either uninformed or too afraid to report what is happening. I want to make sure we know that none of this is okay!

On the more extreme side of this are things there are horrific stories of sex trafficking, child pornography rings, human trafficking and sex slavery. These are all real issues and have or do occur at some level in Australia and across the world. (topic for another day!) Essentially, Sexual Violence itself is very broad and essentially can be covered in one sentence- Sexual Violence is basically anything of a sexual nature where consent cannot be given, or is not given.

Defined: So while the term is very broad- If we want to get technical about Sexual Violence there is a great definition in the Miller-Keane Encyclopedia and Dictionary of Medicine, Nursing and Allied Health…

Sexual Abuse any act of a sexual nature performed in a criminal manner, as with a child or with a non-consenting adult, including rape, incest, oral copulation, and penetration of genital or anal opening with a foreign object. The term also includes lewd or lascivious acts with a child; any sexual act that could be expected to trouble or offend another person when done by someone motivated by sexual interest; acts related to sexual exploitation, such as those related to pornography, prostitution involving minors, or coercion of minors to perform obscene acts.” {Including over the internet}

Each one of these individual areas which make up sexual violence, i.e. Rape have their own individual criteria, which explained, are all very different. If you think it would be helpful; I can certainly write about each one for you, please send me a message or make a comment below about what you want to learn and I will do my best.

Basically the thing that needs to be understood is CONSENT. U16- no consent can be given. If you want a really clear-cut understanding of consent you should check out this small 2-minute YouTube clip, which talks about consent. You can check it out HERE. The feedback I have received around the issue of consent is very blurry and can sometimes leave people getting into a great deal of trouble because they do not understand consent.

Putting it simply- a child under the age of 12 (in Australia) cannot give consent- ever. A child between the ages of 12-16 cannot give consent either, however, some consideration could be given if perhaps one party was 17 and the other was 15; if the older party was of the belief that the ‘victim’ was 16.

Regardless, if something was happening and there was sexual behaviour occurring between two ‘consenting’ 15 year olds, it is possible that both could be investigated. Each case reported to police will be assessed individually.

Because I have some creative juices flowing- I threw this little poem together which perhaps will give you a unique insight as to what sexual abuse and violence sounds like. This is of course based on my own experience.

The Hideous Deception


It does sound kinda yuck, in fact yuck it kinda sounds
I don’t like it when you talk about it,
Makes me wanna frown.
It makes me angry, makes me sad,
Makes me wanna cry,
It really is the very thing that makes me wanna die.
It is forced and not consensual,
Nothing about “this sex’ is sensual,
Reminds me of the numb I feel.
The years of abuse, the raw deal.
Exploited, thwarted, cavorted and played.
Groomed, pruned and broke.
Nothing could have prepared me,
For the cunning words you spoke.
Coercion, distortion, things out of proportion,
Extortion, repulsion- it’s Rape…
Confusion, delusion, hate;
I wish I had understood the hideous transgression,
Makes me feel kinda bent,
Like my innocence, I’m not your possession,
Thank God, for my own inception.
I found my strength to conquer this hideous deception.
Kelly Humphries – 2017


While that is an individual expression of what Sexual Violence may be to one person, the effects of any sexual offence and personal violation of any kind can be far reaching.

If you are someone who has read this and feels that they have had an offence occur IMG_0044against them of a sexual nature, please get some support. You can find support links HERE. I would encourage you to connect with people who will understand your situation, and can provide appropriate advice. I would also encourage you to speak to Police, make a report and get advice. (more on this in future blogs)

Take care and stay safe!


Much Love

Kel XO





#KellyHumphriesSpeaker #YourQuestionsAnswered #Resilience #HideousDeception #BreakTheCycle #Purpose #UnscathedBeauty #SexualAbuse #SexualViolence #KelsPoems #KellyHumphries





Every situation is different and each situation has its own very complex circumstances. There are no hard and fast answers, what I say here is my experience- and my own opinion supported at times by research.

This stuff is not black and white. It just can’t be. What is black and white/ right and wrong is that Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence is never ok, and it is never under any circumstances right.

What is grey is in fact terribly dark… That is the silence that sits surrounding this topic. The shame and absolute fear so heavily laden on the shoulders of victims that the mere thought of speaking brings crippling anxiety and fear.

Lets change that… together. #LetsMakeChange



If you are in immediate danger, please call 000 in Australia.

To report sexual abuse to police- please attend a Police Station or call 131444 for Policelink. (Australia)

To seek support or assistance you can contact me, (I am a single entity who can offer advice, and personal coaching. I am not a psychologist or registered counsellor, but I am very approachable and happy to help.

You can contact the Centre for Sexual Violence at and download any of their brochures and information, and likewise Bravehearts-

For internet related advice please contact The Carly Ryan Foundation



Miller-Keane Encyclopedia and Dictionary of Medicine, Nursing, and Allied Health, Seventh Edition. © 2003 by Saunders, an imprint of Elsevier, Inc. [online] Available at: [10/04/2017]

Special Thanks to Katrina Weeks- Centre for Sexual Violence Logan for her collaboration.

world is your playground

“An enduring symbol of happiness is the delightful little Bluebird. Bluebird beckons the day with the simple pleasures and sings the song that happiness is possible, it is the gift you give to yourself. If you are going through a dark time, Bluebirds remind us that things will be brighter, just hold on and get through this day” 


When I was just a small child someone in my family- probably my beautiful mother bought me a Bluebird badge. Engraved with my name, I never knew for sure what it meant- or did I? Recently when looking for photos for my book, #UnscathedBeauty I found my Bluebird badge. I started to put things together in my mind and I realised just how much this enduring symbol of happiness had sat with me. How I had held on… for dear life.


Me- about 5 years old. 

I would pray, from the very depths of my soul for Jesus to come and rescue me, that he would make me into a bird so I could fly far away, so I could be happy. So I could get away from him, my abusive uncle. In hindsight, I was mostly happy as a child and prayers were answered, i just didnt know it then. How? While all this sexual abuse I had been going through kept happening- I held so tight to the simple things in life. The moments of joy, the cow poo fights with my brother, pushing my sister around in the washing basket and dancing in the rain in my underwear. The smell of mums cooking and baiting a hook while fishing with dad- not to mention catching a fish! Those were the simple things in life that made the darkness fall away, like the rain that washed me clean, and like my prayers that were sent to heaven, love restored me in a way that I could continue for another day. While the battle has raged for years, peaks and troughs… highs and lows, we learn, and life teaches us how to survive. Putting it simply, it gets better because we get better. We learn and grow.

See I did learn a lesson from the Bluebird… I learnt to hold on and I learnt to how to be free- it just took a while. I also learnt patience. I learnt to wait until it was safe and the time was right to fly…

I don’t know who wrote this poem- ‘the bluebird’, only that in my dreams I flew and still do, every night- Thats what I did- that is how I dreamed…that is also how I survived. 

The Bluebird while just a symbol has been a symbol which has held firm in the background of my life. As I looked up the Bluebird on the ever faithful google, so many things refer to the Bluebird being stuck in your heart… oh the metaphors… pretty little Bluebird… your time to fly is now. As I get close to the publishing of my book, I see how far I have come, and all that has been achieved.

If you are in a dark space, a struggle, a situation or circumstance that you feel you can find no way out of, take a lesson from me… from the Bluebird… hold on. Hold on to the moments of love and happiness in your life and embrace them. It may be the simplest thing, but when you are ready to look up again- you will find you are stronger, more courageous than ever before and the world really is your playground.

Much Love xo Kel

Screen Shot 2017-04-26 at 11.26.12 am.png

I don’t know who wrote this, only that in my dreams I fly, and every night- Thats what I did- that is also how I survived. 


#Bluebird #UnscathedBeauty #KellyHumphries #SexualAbuse #Don’tGiveUp #courage #KellyHumphriesSpeaker #OvercomingAbuse #morethanalabel #Author #Change The World

Fishing girl footer background

So now you have made your commitments you are ready to move on to the next phase of the 5-point plan to shine your incredible unique light in 2017. Now we look towards creating the next step and this is your 5x Statements of Achievement. Well done for getting this far along!



I have provided an example below of what this looks like.

Remember these are my personal 5x Core Commitments (yours may look slightly different, but as I said in my fist blog of this series, we are all fundamentally the same)

  • I am committed to my faith/spirituality. (God/connection/meaning- purpose)
  • I am committed to myself. (Me and my personal wellbeing and growth)
  • I am committed to my family. (Immediate/those who represent family)
  • I am committed to my friends. (Close Circle- followed my outer circle (you can only do so much with your time!))
  • I am committed to my career. (Passion, Occupation)


My five Statements of achievement are what I believe will ensure I fulfil my commitments. So to show you what 5x Statements of Achievement look like I have worked with my own commitment number 2.

2- I am committed to myself.

My 5x Statements of Achievement for commitment number 2 are as follows.

  1. I am committed to my personal growth.
  2. I am committed to my physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.
  3. I am committed to my personal healing.
  4. I am committed to being kind to myself.
  5. I am committed to being passionate.

5-core-commitments-and-statements-of-achievementEach one of your commitments should have their own statements of achievement. When you are making these statements think about the things that have meaning and purpose for you. For example, I am committed to my healing because of what has occurred in my life, I know I need to allow myself space to explore my own healing (this year) I want to be the best advocate for change that I can be when it comes to making the world a safer place for our kids. I feel that to give myself that space will allow me to be stronger, and more capable when it gets hard.

I am not content to allow my past to define me, rather allow myself to become the diamond in the rock and shine my best light. So make your commitments appropriate to your needs. It might be your education, your diet, your personal safety or whatever the case is. It is what is important in your life NOW.


Take time with these: it matters. You matter, you can do this, and you are worth it. As Dr Steve Mariboli says, “Intent reveals desire; Action reveals commitment.”

You can find step 1/5 HERE

You can find step 2/5 HERE

You can find step 3/5 HERE


# KellyHumphriesSpeaker #UnscathedBeauty #Foundations #Commitment #SexualAbuse #5pointplan #SexualViolence



There is not one quote by Kelly

There is not oneIt started when I was a teen…a broken and rejected soul who fought make sense of the world. My ideal was a figment of my own imagination, and imagination was utilised to make sense of a distorted reality. Somewhere in the void and the darkness, I believed that there was a reason for what was happening, and had been happening since I was just a little girl. There had to be a purpose for why I was being sexually abused by my uncle. I made excuses, I hid, I was brave and held my own to protect my secret. Our secret.

I aimed for perfection, in favour of rejection.

I mourned innocence, in favour of reverence and significance.

I battled my pride in the tears that were my friend in the night.

I made it better by helping other people, encouraging and doing what I could to make the world a better place than I knew it to be.

One day… I would help girls and boys like me. One day, people would know and I would make a difference. Fear was my friend, because when I was afraid, I knew I was still okay, and I could feel something. Fear was also my enemy because that vision of helping other people has eaten at me for too long, and kept me bound in a shadow of who I could be. I am not sorry. Why? Because I am becoming the best version of who I am, and I have needed to undertake this journey in order to heal and get myself into a position to do this.

I am ready now; thank you for waiting for me!

When I was happy, which was the most part of my childhood, I held on to it. I loved the bush, I loved the smell of mum’s cooking and I loved being an athlete. I was a good athlete. I wanted to be an Olympian and I held tight to that dream… That dream saved me. That dream and the love and blessings of the people around me have grounded me and reminded me of what is important and who I am.

What is ‘Unscathed Beauty’ and what does it mean to unleash it? 

It is your heart and your soul.

It is your passion and your vision.

It is your freedom and your hope.

It is your strength and your value.

It is who you were made to be; your dreams spoken, and unspoken.

It is you … and it is me. It is every person who has ever been in a dark place and felt brokenness, dismay, shame or guilt just to name a few.

It is for anyone who has faced adversity and still struggles to find their identity, especially in this chaotic world. Maybe you have been able to rise above that. Maybe you have been able to conquer your darkness. Or maybe you are like me and darkness comes every now and then and you are still learning how to claw your way out. The truth is, there is never a reason for child abuse, but I can turn my circumstances into a cornerstone of strength. I can choose now to make a difference. See I never knew, and he never said… it was a selfish ambition which did not belong to me, but to my perpetrator.

You see, Unscathed Beauty is all that you are, and that which you fight for. It is that thing that you hold onto when there seems to be nothing left within you. It is how you survive.

It is the beauty and the joy that is innately you that no predator, paedophile, abuser or set of adverse circumstances can touch. No person can take it, and no person can make it. It is yours; it is your gift to the world, and it is absolutely amazing and beautiful. It is your Unscathed Beauty.

It is also the title of my book. It is part of my journey, but not all. It has taken some time to answer the challenge of my teens… but I am here now. How? Well I have held onto hope and love. I grasped hold of who I am, and my Unscathed Beauty – now I am unleashing it. I am walking in the freedom of who I am and learning, every day, just how bold I can be.

Walking with Wendywhat can I say…?

I met Wendy just over 18 months ago at a public event where she spoke very passionately about her work. She moved something in my spirit and there was a connection. We both knew there was a reason for the connection. No words were spoken directly to each other, but there was a subtle shift and if I weren’t listening to my heart I would have missed it. There didn’t need to be any words, but I believe we have been led to work together and I am grateful to the many prayers and support I have received to get to this point so far. I am supported on this journey, and blessed and that is why I know Unscathed Beauty will be an incredible piece of work- perhaps my best achievement yet. Wendy Millgate
has the words… (Wendy & Words) and Wendy is now my editor.

We stayed in contact through emails and social media, but we were not able to catch up until Friday 3rd May 2016. While I shared my words and my heart for my book with Wendy, nibbled on copious amounts of chocolate and drank lots of tea, I also cried over my heart to change this space for women and men, and those who are struggling to overcome adversity based on childhood experiences. Wendy listened.

Unscathed Beauty is the first of many books that I will write. Someone once said to me, ‘…. as if you will ever write a book.’ Well I have now – and I could say a few things to that someone… but maybe I should thank them. When someone says I can’t, I say, ‘I can so!’

I finished my final draft of Unscathed Beauty a few months ago, and it has come together nicely. Now it is sitting in the capable hands of Wendy who will dissect it and pull it apart, so I can bring you the best version of Unscathed Beauty that I can.

Together with my friends, family and you, we will set about on a road to change how we view the #CyclesOfSilence that perpetuate our homes and communities. We will make changes, we will shine a light in a really dark space, and we will bring hope and healing to people that need restoration.

Together we will unleash our #UnscathedBeauty and help others find theirs.

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kelly's image by Christian Del Rosario

It’s time to unleash the beast. The time is now! It is time to step up and step out. This weekend I will travel to Sydney with my partner to the #SpeakersInstitute, Sydney to get bolder, stronger and gain more skills to bring my message to Australia and the world. In a three-day intensive boot-camp I will let the lion inside me loose and I will roar or perhaps squeal…

I have been speaking for a few months now about my heart to change the cycles of abuse which perpetuate our society. To bring to light what happens in the journey of someone who has experienced abuse and the long-term effects that a person will deal with because of childhood trauma.

by Christian Del Rosario

John Maxwell Team event 2014©AttreoStudio All rights reserved 2014

It is time to start talking, to give people permission to have a conversation that sometimes remains as closed and hidden as the soul of the person who bears the secret.  The cries of little ones in dark corners and right under our noses go unanswered across the entire globe. Even right here in our unassuming tiny pocket of Australia, there are more secrets than many of us would think or believe. As the cycle continues and the culture of silence goes on, it is time to not just say the words, but to acknowledge the pain behind the problem and face it head on.

In a study conducted by the Australian Institute of Criminology; 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men will experience some kind of sexual abuse before the age of 18 years. This is an epidemic and disease that must be eradicated and these figures are unacceptable. We must take a stand together and collectively become the answer. Let’s make a change. Let’s start talking about the hard stuff. Let us encourage conversations which are going to set people free, not cage people’s dreams. Let us get brave together. We must face our fears and hold on to those things that make us beautiful and unique. That is our courage and our strength.  That is our #UnscathedBeauty.

Much Love Kel XO



Sharing my story, IWD March 11th

International Women’s Day Celebrations- 2016 

I was so privileged this past week celebrating International Women’s Day with so many of my colleagues and friends across the Queensland Police and Emergency Services. What an incredible week it has been. I have been surrounded by phenomenal women (and men) with amazing stories that have both inspired, bought joy, hope and reminded me what is important in my own life, and it is only the beginning. In spreading my own message, and sharing my story, I only seem to find meaningful and wonderful connection, love, friendship and support. This was certainly the case at this years Crime Stoppers International (Pine Rivers) High Tea and International Women’s Day event on the 11th of March at Kallangur. I was so grateful to come and share my journey at this lovely event.

This week has brought me to my knees, I have cried, I have laughed, and I have even held others in my arms while they cried. I am constantly learning from other peoples journeys, their hopes, and it all comes down to one thing. LOVE. It’s a love I cannot describe because it surpasses anything I fully understand.  I can only say that it is and always has been bigger than me or anything I can do in my own strength. All I know is to keep walking, even when I can’t see where the next step falls. That is faith. When you align your heart with your head, beautiful things happen even when you are scared, when you feel alone, or if you feel unloveable, broken or like you are failing. You are never alone.

For me, it is an answer to a long awaited prayer, and all I really needed to do was say no to my fear. I have struggled more than anything in the last few months to harness my courage and strength. I have much to do, but I know that with the incredible support and love I have received from all of you, my friends, family, and colleagues, I cannot fail. I even have the support of the Queensland Police Service and for that I am grateful and so very humbled. I attended the International Women’s Day Event at the Pullman hotel, on the 08th of March and was Awarded a award for Courage, which I did not expect, or do I feel worthy. But I am humbled that the QPS is behind me in this journey. International Women’s Day Awards

I have many messages, and I do talk as openly as I am able to about how I have overcome Sexual Abuse; and there are many reasons for this which i will share in a later blog for you, but essentially it comes down to this. Your past does not define who you are, or who you become. No one has the power to take your voice. You are made with a purpose, a passion and you are incredibly unique. There is nothing that can stop you from achieving the desires of your heart. “It is time, to conquer your fear and unleash your Unscathed Beauty”

Thank you for coming on this journey with me. Thank-you for sharing your heart with me and allowing me to speak to yours. It is only when we work together can we really affect change, and I can’t do it alone. Bless you my friends.

Much Love, Kel.



Roaring Lion

How Big Is Your Lion? Photo Credit


My Roaring Lion

The innocence of love, The innocence of life,

The ignorance of knowing, or not knowing what is right.

The butterflies of darkness rise up like a wave of fear inside

As the tide of nausea beckons with a message; run. Hide.

Fixated I stand, too scared to comprehend, a moment, a choice,

The uncle whom was trusted and loved, the same who took my voice.

The prickling sweat of hurt, betrayal and all that is lost,

Cannot compare to my innocence, which his cowardice has cost.

Yet scars and time do heal somewhat, as the lion inside me rises,

And though time ticks so slowly by, I’m done with compromises.

I humbly stand right here, right now, a survivor who has overcome,

It’s painful, sad, but it’s true I am not the only one.

It is time to unshackle the shame, the guilt that sees you broken on the floor;

Until every man, woman and child, believes their lion can roar.


Kelly Humphries 2016



Acting Commissioner Brett Pointing, Hetty Johnston, Kelly Humphries, Mayor Pam Parker, Chief Superintendant Martin Mickelson.

Walk the Talk Soroptimist Event, Beenleigh, 28th of November, 2015.

What an incredible day I had yesterday, the 28th day of November, 2015. A day of celebration and advocation. That is, the celebration of community coming together to take a stand against Domestic and Family Violence, and Sexual Violence against women. As a women I believe its about celebrating our differences, and the beauty that is within each and everyone of us. I felt so empowered as I was reminded by my friend Hetty Johnston this week that I am on a journey and taking back my power. So I celebrate the joy of standing up for myself,  alongside some incredible people who represent strength and courage in our community. This week has been incredibly empowering for me as someone who has struggled through sexual abuse. When I say struggled, I mean I have had to work incredibly hard to peel the layers off and understand that I was born for more. That I am worthy of more. I felt a stirring in my heart and a rising up of my spirit as I shared that with the crowd at Beenleigh #Walkthetalk event. I had women and men share their embraces and some with tears in their eyes giving me encouragement. I had some share their stories and I am reminded just how fortunate I am. The prevalence of Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse is beyond reason and I know the journey is a long one to reduce the stigma of reporting offences like sexual abuse, sexual violence and domestic violence. Sexual Violence and Abuse, and Domestic Violence is led in the statistics primarily by women,  but we cannot overlook for a second that these stats are represented by both genders, same sex couples and the result of sexual violence, abuse of any kind affects everyone. I believe victory can only occur with collaboration.

I was incredibly humbled to share the platform with Acting Commissioner Brett Pointing, Mayor Pam Parker, Councillor Steve Swenson, and Adrienne Cremin (representing Shannon Fentiman) among others. Incredible support was shown by our Logan Councillors standing up and advocating for Not Now Not Ever.

#Soroptimist #SexualViolence #walkthetalk #SexualAbuse #Bravehearts #QLDPolice