There are some days I wake up and still question the reasons I am here on this earth. Sometimes I think I just simply forget my WHY… or get consumed by the craziness of life and my WHY gets lost. Am I the only one? There are some days I wish I didn’t have to wake up and could sleep the day away, but more often than not, I am glad I still have the opportunity to walk out the path before me. There was a time when I was much younger I had hoped I wouldn’t wake up at all. I let the past consume me and the voices in my head rule the vision in my heart. ‘Why me?’ Time, patience, understanding and perspective has taught me a great many things and is part of the growing up process. I’m not sure we ever fully grow up and we sure don’t ever stop learning!
I don’t always know what it looks like at the end… but I have always known I was born to speak. No one ever asks to go through adversity and certainly no one asks to be a victim of sexual abuse. Its taken a long time to get to this point and embrace my calling. It has certainly come at a price, and that price is freedom. There is only so long that you can continue on a path and ignore the true calling of your life. I feel like there is a huge weight off my chest because I have finally answered that niggling voice that has been annoying me for a good long while. We are all born for something and whether you know it or not, your heart is probably trying tell you in some way. I have finally accepted the mission, and here are a few things that have helped me step into my YES, and fly with my WHY.
Keep your mind in front, not behind: We are not our painful past, and while it is hard, we cannot allow that pain to define who we become in the future; rather allow the lessons from that pain that make us better for the future. It is easy to fall on the wayside when adversity rises up; we can easily be distracted from our goals and purpose because we revert to an old mindset of coping. It is hard to break old habits and sometimes even harder to know that it is a habit. For me- I accept that I am on a journey and I must remain 110% focussed on the vision that fuels my WHY. My biggest why is the lives that I know will be impacted by giving people permission to be brave, speak loudly and proudly, and bring freedom from pain by helping people overcome adversity.
We live in a world of here and now and sometimes I feel like we forget that it takes time to get things right. I am impatient! It takes hard work and perseverance to become the best end-product that you can be. The journey teaches us lessons which we have a choice to learn from or let them slip past us. To be patient with yourself is difficult, but I encourage you to see yourself on a journey of discovery to your best possible self. Look adversity in the eyes and ask yourself, ‘what are you trying to show me?’ Learn and keep your eyes front and centre on your WHY and your passion.
Don’t put it on the shelf, be patient with yourself: When adversity comes, I want to pack my bags and run! I have often found myself going around and around in circles, overthinking and getting quite worked up- especially in the last few weeks, which has cost me many hours of sleep. As someone who is a creative innovator sometimes my ideas and thoughts can easily overwhelm me and I think to myself; what’s the point? Every time I think I am on the right path, another life lesson rears its head, another failure, another bad voice from my past tells me ‘it would be easier if you just forget this idea or put it on the shelf.’ I found myself praying and asking myself yet again, how do I do this? What am I supposed to do? What is the next chapter? How do I make my book perfect? How can I reach the most people? Argh!!! Too many questions! There is a small voice in me that sometimes gets drowned out in the chaos of life and my own unbelief sometimes. That voice I know is the voice of truth. That is the voice that restores my reasoning, provides clarity, reminds me to hold on to my dream unwaveringly, ensures I remember my WHY and reminds me to be patient with myself. What is your voice telling you?
I know I am not alone in this struggle. My problem though is not knowing what to do, It’s the excitement in knowing that its not that far away and the journey has already begun- finally! I’m doing this thing! I’m seriously impatient and wound-up and I want to be the end product I see in my head NOW! However, I cannot forget that everything must have a foundation! There is no point hanging up my boots when I feel overwhelmed or frustrated or because life happens. The thing about life is that it is ALWAYS happening.
I am learning to be patient with the journey and allow things to mature as they should. Its like a mother who gives birth too early, the baby wont be as well formed as if it had taken the time to mature. So when those stumbling blocks rear their ugly heads remember to use the lesson as a cornerstone of strength and give yourself the opportunity to see your dream come to fruition in its time. Don’t rush it, but take the time to learn, grow and mature. Just because something may not be working out now, doesn’t mean that your dream is over, or it’s time to hang it on the shelf. Dreams don’t go away, I promise. They just niggle at you and annoy you until you do something about them!
Be wise and don’t compromise: I know what it takes to tell my story but I don’t know everything. I have spent the last 25 years or so running from the pain of my past. In 2014 I sat down and started writing a book, because I felt it was the best way to confront my fears and start my journey to breaking the silence and being a voice for other people. (I am working on the final stages now) I have done a lot of healing! However; I have known since I was in my early 20’s what I was meant to do. I just got scared. I allowed other people’s opinions, feelings and thoughts enter my mind. I allowed my own voice of destruction to tell me, ‘I’m not ready’, ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘people will laugh at you…’ The truth is, when your passionate about something- it shows. When you are authentic and real; it shows. People respect the truth. The naysayers will always be naysayers, but they are few and far between.
It’s okay to be on a journey. Even better when you can learn a lesson from something that has taken you from your path. The one thing I have learnt from adversity, is if you are working towards a goal and you fall off the bandwagon be wise. Allow yourself time to learn the lesson, but compromising your passion and goal causes resentment, anger and frustration. That could be toward someone close to you or yourself. It eats away at you because there is a part of you which knows you are not where you should be. This frustration breeds resentment and you lose sight of who you are as a person, what you believe and your purpose. Sometimes it happens before you even know and others happen out of coping and life. I have fallen trap to almost take on someone else’s identity whether that be trying to keep the peace or make that other person happy. Or you try to hold an image that is not you, in order to protect the real you from getting hurt. Hold on to who you are, hold your own image and be proud of who YOU are. You simply sell yourself short by compromising your passion and purpose for someone else, or something else.
Do your absolute best not to get caught where you don’t belong! Own your why, be bold and step into your yes. A journey is called a journey for a reason. Its an adventure full of ups, downs and merry go rounds. If I can encourage you to look at this adversity like an adventure and explore the lessons, you will learn so much about yourself not only as a person, but the strength of your character, depth of your personality and absolute fortitude you possess and will develop as you undertake the journey. I have learnt all of this is part of stepping into your YES and learning to fly with your WHY.
Much love, Kel xo
#DontRush #EnjoyTheJourney #KellyHumphries