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Happy New Year

 

Hey Guys! Are you ready for 2017?IMG_0055 copy

I know I am getting well and truly set with a new and exciting personal development plan. In trying to run the same race each year and not always doing so well, I want to make sure I set myself up this year to achieve all I want, so I can have an incredibly successful year.

Throughout 2016 I have spoken to many people across the community about sexual violence and how important it is to be brave and break the cycle! My book #UnscathedBeauty is coming along nicely, and I am starting to delve press into areas I have been too afraid or self-conscious to do. I have a huge and exciting plan and I cannot wait to walk it out!

I have struggled immensely up until now, within myself, and fought many internal battles to get to this point, but I have grown exponentially.

What I didn’t realise, as I have undertaken the journey of writing my book and starting to speak about what happened, is just how far reaching the effects of the abuse went and how much of my life had changed as a result. I know that the course I have been steered I am using to do things I never thought I would, and in many ways trying to help people overcome. What I also know is that these effects come when you
least expect them. Things like fearing confrontation. Pleasing others. Acting out of guilt and so many other things.

So, I took myself awaimg_6672y on a 10-day intensive challenge where I dealt with some of my demons from my past; that being the sexual abuse that occurred at the hands of my uncle. I went camping in a place with very few people; in fact I was mostly alone for the best part of 10 days in the bush. I underwent an incredible transformation within myself during this time.

While I was away, I started to come up with my own personal development plan. How I was going to walk free from that past and step into a new and wonderful success that belonged to me. That I was free and fully capable of achieving this success.

Over the next 5 blogs, I will share the process of how I set my personal success plan for 2017. It is called, Kel’s 5-point plan- to achieve the best success for yourself in 2017.

So please take a moment to peruse my plan, and use as your own – or in fact, I encourage you to use mine as a template to create your own plan. One that fits you.

Bless you and best wishes for an absolutely incredible 2017- STAY SAFE! STAY TUNED!

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#Getsettosucceed #UnscathedBeauty #Success #NoFear #5pointplan #KellyHumphries #BeYourBest #Author #Plantosucceed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Holidays and best wishes

merry-christmas

As Christmas dawns on the horizon- and is already upon us I remember the sweet innocence of those twinkling lights, the star on the tree and how we rocked along to Disney’s Christmas Carols – singing our hearts out like the sweet little birds that we were as kids- or maybe not so sweet!

While we innocently waited for Santa to come and bring his sack full of toys, with absolute wonderment and joy and we revelled in the moments of true connection and love, as life waged its war with time we became like the crinkles in the corner of our eyes. Lost in time.

We pitter patted around and put cookies and milk out for Santa, carrots for the reindeer… and we would be in bed early because, ‘He see’s you when your sleeping- and knows when your awake.’ So quickly and seeded with anticipation we would wait for the first one to wake up on Christmas morning… and the screaming and excitement would begin.

I cry as I write this, because I realise what I have missed and what I mourn… What my heart aches for and what life does to us if we don’t keep things in check. As a survivor of Sexual abuse, I have learnt this phenomenon of the ‘inner child.’

I might point out I thought this was all very cliché. But I come to realise very quickly that my innocence, that child was part of me and still is. We all have the memories of our youth that shape and mould us. We all still have that beautiful innocence and joy of children within us- we just forget it is there when life and adversity rears its head and we are forced to act like adults.

I remember how much fun I had at Christmas, and yet the dark sadness of what lay beneath and what was happening would see the simple joys fade like a moment of sunshine flittering in and out behind dark clouds. I was not like the other kids.

My little girl was stolen from me by my Uncle; just like joy may be stolen from you, through situation or circumstance, or maybe just pain… I lost her. I lost her sweet song and her dance in the pain of my innocence lost. My #UnscathedBeauty: all that I am, all that I was meant to be. My laughter and smiles- where did that unbridled laughter go?

It became tinged with deceit. That’s where it went. It become chained by fear and lost in the feeling that no place was safe, and the world was scary. I had to grow up, just so I could live.

Maybe you had to grow up too…really fast. Maybe you are holding on for all you feel you are worth. Perhaps you feel that have no more strength. No time. No money. Perhaps you have forgotten the beautiful wonderful things in this life Maybe your little inner child gone into hiding and you don’t know where they went.

img_6641That’s ok- I only just found her myself skipping around the Christmas tree and singing Christmas carols.

Do the things that make you smile! Build a cubby house or do a colouring in picture. Turn the sprinkler on, run underneath it and laugh like you don’t care. Lick the bowl when you make your next cake and let it smear all over your face…
Look at the people around you and take joy in the simplicity.

It’s is not about things and stuff… They won’t matter later. Love matters and #connectionmatters. Take time to connect with people. Connection creates healing.

So, from my family to yours have an incredible, simple, connected and loving Christmas, filled with innocence, joy and uninhibited laughter!

Much Love- Kel xo

Stand out - Osho

stand out

There are some days I wake up and still question the reasons I am here on this earth. Sometimes I think I just simply forget my WHY… or get consumed by the craziness of life and my WHY gets lost. Am I the only one? There are some days I wish I didn’t have to wake up and could sleep the day away, but more often than not, I am glad I still have the opportunity to walk out the path before me. There was a time when I was much younger I had hoped I wouldn’t wake up at all. I let the past consume me and the voices in my head rule the vision in my heart. ‘Why me?’ Time, patience, understanding and perspective has taught me a great many things and is part of the growing up process. I’m not sure we ever fully grow up and we sure don’t ever stop learning!

I don’t always know what it looks like at the end… but I have always known I was born to speak. No one ever asks to go through adversity and certainly no one asks to be a victim of sexual abuse. Its taken a long time to get to this point and embrace my calling. It has certainly come at a price, and that price is freedom. There is only so long that you can continue on a path and ignore the true calling of your life. I feel like there is a huge weight off my chest because I have finally answered that niggling voice that has been annoying me for a good long while. We are all born for something and whether you know it or not, your heart is probably trying tell you in some way. I have finally accepted the mission, and here are a few things that have helped me step into my YES, and fly with my WHY.

Keep your mind in front, not behind: We are not our painful past, and while it is hard, we cannot allow that pain to define who we become in the future; rather allow the lessons from that pain that make us better for the future. It is easy to fall on the wayside when adversity rises up; we can easily be distracted from our goals and purpose because we revert to an old mindset of coping. It is hard to break old habits and sometimes even harder to know that it is a habit. For me- I accept that I am on a journey and I must remain 110% focussed on the vision that fuels my WHY. My biggest why is the lives that I know will be impacted by giving people permission to be brave, speak loudly and proudly, and bring freedom from pain by helping people overcome adversity.

We live in a world of here and now and sometimes I feel like we forget that it takes time to get things right. I am impatient! It takes hard work and perseverance to become the best end-product that you can be. The journey teaches us lessons which we have a choice to learn from or let them slip past us. To be patient with yourself is difficult, but I encourage you to see yourself on a journey of discovery to your best possible self. Look adversity in the eyes and ask yourself, ‘what are you trying to show me?’ Learn and keep your eyes front and centre on your WHY and your passion.

Don’t put it on the shelf, be patient with yourself: When adversity comes, I want to pack my bags and run!  I have often found myself going around and around in circles, overthinking and getting quite worked up- especially in the last few weeks, which has cost me many hours of sleep. As someone who is a creative innovator sometimes my ideas and thoughts can easily overwhelm me and I think to myself; what’s the point? Every time I think I am on the right path, another life lesson rears its head, another failure, another bad voice from my past tells me ‘it would be easier if you just forget this idea or put it on the shelf.’  I found myself praying and asking myself yet again, how do I do this? What am I supposed to do? What is the next chapter? How do I make my book perfect? How can I reach the most people? Argh!!! Too many questions! There is a small voice in me that sometimes gets drowned out in the chaos of life and my own unbelief sometimes. That voice I know is the voice of truth. That is the voice that restores my reasoning, provides clarity, reminds me to hold on to my dream unwaveringly, ensures I remember my WHY and reminds me to be patient with myself. What is your voice telling you?

I know I am not alone in this struggle. My problem though is not knowing what to do, It’s the excitement in knowing that its not that far away and the journey has already begun- finally! I’m doing this thing! I’m seriously impatient and wound-up and I want to be the end product I see in my head NOW! However, I cannot forget that everything must have a foundation! There is no point hanging up my boots when I feel overwhelmed or frustrated or because life happens. The thing about life is that it is ALWAYS happening.

I am learning to be patient with the journey and allow things to mature as they should. Its like a mother who gives birth too early, the baby wont be as well formed as if it had taken the time to mature. So when those stumbling blocks rear their ugly heads remember to use the lesson as a cornerstone of strength and give yourself the opportunity to see your dream come to fruition in its time. Don’t rush it, but take the time to learn, grow and mature. Just because something may not be working out now, doesn’t mean that your dream is over, or it’s time to hang it on the shelf. Dreams don’t go away, I promise. They just niggle at you and annoy you until you do something about them!

Be wise and don’t compromise: I know what it takes to tell my story but I don’t know everything. I have spent the last 25 years or so running from the pain of my past. In 2014 I sat down and started writing a book, because I felt it was the best way to confront my fears and start my journey to breaking the silence and being a voice for other people. (I am working on the final stages now) I have done a lot of healing! However; I have known since I was in my early 20’s what I was meant to do. I just got scared. I allowed other people’s opinions, feelings and thoughts enter my mind. I allowed my own voice of destruction to tell me, ‘I’m not ready’, ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘people will laugh at you…’ The truth is, when your passionate about something- it shows. When you are authentic and real; it shows. People respect the truth. The naysayers will always be naysayers, but they are few and far between.

It’s okay to be on a journey. Even better when you can learn a lesson from something that has taken you from your path. The one thing I have learnt from adversity, is if you are working towards a goal and you fall off the bandwagon be wise. Allow yourself time to learn the lesson, but compromising your passion and goal causes resentment, anger and frustration. That could be toward someone close to you or yourself. It eats away at you because there is a part of you which knows you are not where you should be. This frustration breeds resentment and you lose sight of who you are as a person, what you believe and your purpose. Sometimes it happens before you even know and others happen out of coping and life. I have fallen trap to almost take on someone else’s identity whether that be trying to keep the peace or make that other person happy. Or you try to hold an image that is not you, in order to protect the real you from getting hurt. Hold on to who you are, hold your own image and be proud of who YOU are. You simply sell yourself short by compromising your passion and purpose for someone else, or something else.

Do your absolute best not to get caught where you don’t belong! Own your why, be bold and step into your yes. A journey is called a journey for a reason. Its an adventure full of ups, downs and merry go rounds. If I can encourage you to look at this adversity like an adventure and explore the lessons, you will learn so much about yourself not only as a person, but the strength of your character, depth of your personality and absolute fortitude you possess and will develop as you undertake the journey. I have learnt all of this is part of stepping into your YES and learning to fly with your WHY.

Much love, Kel  xo

CS lewis

 

#DontRush #EnjoyTheJourney #KellyHumphries